Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Fog Obscure~ Essence

 

 Evening fog obscures London's Tower Bridge from passers by.

 

 

 

 

Cloud,touch,at home-fronts script
Drizzle, much, droplet drip

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 24
    Edit | Reply
    Powerful!

    • haley27 gold member
      November 24
      Edit | Reply

      thank you

      Thank you for the wonderful comment on my poem. Haley27

  • poetrandy gold member
    November 17
    Edit | Reply

    Different!

    My what just a few words can do! Good luck in the contest!

    • haley27 gold member
      November 17
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for the wonderful comment given. Haley27

  • Pretty Little Thing
    April 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I liked it.

    However, for such a short poem, I think that this would have had a little more of a flowing structure if you'd used more lines, such as by splitting cloud and touch and drizzle and much to emphasize the one-one-three syllable rhythm. This would also help to accenuate the touch / much rhyme. Was dip supposed to be drip, or dip?? Anyway, the poem, itself, is awesome, I love the imagery and especially the rhythm.
    Well done.
    • haley27 gold member
      April 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Trying out this form. Thanks I will try that and see if it works out better. Thank for taking a look and commenting. Haley27

      • Pretty Little Thing
        April 23, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        You're welcome.

        Please feel free to comment on one of my recent experimental pieces, entitled, "My Experiment."
1 - 7 of 7