I Never (Pre Written)

I never knew my grandfather,
I never went fishing on an ideallic summer's day,
Never sat on his lap and heard stories about the war,
Never got a phone call congratulating me on a good mark,
I never looked up at his face, creased with age, and wondered,
Why he had that wonderful smell of tobacco and leather,
Never had him buy me a drink at my 18th birthday.

I never lived in a two storey house with a white picket fence,
With a perfectly mowed lawn that was always green,
And neighbours who discuss the world over the fence,
I never had a street barbeque, or played sport in the road,
Or had a best friend who I'd always hang out with on a weekend,
I never rode my bike with heaps of boys,
Feeling like a tough guy as I stared down younger kids.

I never had a high school girlfriend,
Never held hands tentatively at lunchtime,
Never snuck a kiss on her front doorstep after our first date,
I never wrote her love poetry and passed it in class,
Never had her call me everyday to say she 'really liked me',
I didn't get the chance to steal her a rose on my way to school.

I never had a high school job,
Statyed back afternoons at the local grocers',
Or got up at dawn to deliver papers,
I didn't ever get the thrill of that first pay-check,
And how it was mine to spend on comics and beer.

No, I never lived that typical life,
I didn't have one best friend my entire life,
I never had that first girlfriend in high school,
I was never a sports star, or a member of the student council,
No, I was the unusual one.

But I did know my grandmother,
Had her slip me a fifty dollar note on my 18th,
Heard her tell stories of how much she loved my grandfather,
And how not a day goes by where she isn't happy for knowing him,
I do remember staying with her and getting roller skates,
My first pair- so wonderful and new.

I do know the blistering heat of the Australian outback,
The way the world stretches out forever in brilliant red,
I know the wet warmth of a coastal rainforest,
And I remember tropical flooding and being stranded in my house,
I've got recollections of dust storms and cyclones,
Of ankle deep snow and dust devils in the winter.

My first girlfriend was older than me,
And she introduced me to so many things,
To my 'magic hands', to wonderful nights on the beach,
To whipped cream and strawberries,
To love and to pain,
She may not have been ideal or perfect,
But I'd never take it back,
Because it was an experience,
And every one is valuable.

Yes, there are a lot of things I've never known,
But there are so many I have,
Losing a sibling, even if it was a miscarriage,
Dancing in front of a packed house,
Diving on the Great Barrier Reef,
And sharing my first slow dance with a Mormon exchange student.

I'll admit, my memories aren't perfect,
I've had my share of heart break and despair,
There have been times when I've wanted to end it,
But would I take it back?
Relive my High School? Or try and fix my first relationship?
No
All of these memories- both good and bad
Contribute to make me who I am.

I'm not an All-American boy,
I'm not your bronzed Aussie 'ocker',
I'll never be a dashingly handsome lawyer,
Or a wildly witty comedian,
But I will always be me,
The guy who writes love poetry,
The guy who comforts everyone at parties,
The hopeless romantic who dreams of that 'perfect moment',
I'll always be the idealistic pessemist,
The melancholy clown,
Ravenlord,
Chris.