The vulgar circus lurks beneath
And unto you I do bequeath
My lonely sadness you must learn
Once I am lost inside this urn
So I shall write my pages down
Give them to this smiling clown
That everyone has now become
Wandering throughout the harem
These whores for life will sit and beg
Marionettes upon this peg
We dance together on our strings
Dreaming of cabbages and kings
Of neverwhere and paradise
While slipping by and dying thrice
A painful heartbreak
An honest mistake
And all the wrong words
We are split into thirds
By our ways of saying or of thought
And knowing things that we ought naught
Author notes
I like it. How about you?
A contest entry
- give me your favourites (prewrites allowed). by aeolia.
500 points, ended July 29, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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perfect
this is a master craft poem. Very very very well done. the rythm, the pantameter, the words themselves. truly excellent, crafted as a spell and a curse.
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Superb
I love it! It made me laugh the entire way through. Not simply with the humor of it. I had to stop once to sift through the syllables, but after I had it, the flow was perfect. Read it out loud to yourself, and I dare you to keep from smiling. I know, I know, it may not be meant to be a funny poem, but it makes such a glorious farce of drama, or so it seems to me. True, emotions are a terrible thing to be trapped in, but this does a bit to alleviate it, blending together the dramatic and comedic relief, and.....It's simply awesome. Great write Kira.
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i like it...
its kool, very interesting, the cabbages and kings part-duznt tht come from "Alice in Wonderland"?? i love tht movie, and tht actually wut this reminds me of, like a mix between tht and Moulin Rouge...its like a description of sumthin deep, but in a metaphoric way.... -
ich mag es auch! although i'm a bit lost as to why you said "cabbages and Kings" does cabbage have a metaphorical meaning that I'm missing? on the whole, well done, i like it lots. It sort of reminds me of Moulin Rouge (i love that movie!).
Liebe Dich! <33
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I like it too. Actually, I don't know how to feel after reading that. It's like some twisted nursery rhyme. Very curious and enjoyable. I don't know much of anything so take this with a grain of salt, but I liked it. Usually, I'm hard to sell to when it comes to this sort of rhyme scheme. So, well done, looking forward to more.
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