you are so deceptive
blending in with these surroundings
as if you belonged here
concealing the real you
beneath screens and veils
it's not as if
we don't see the mask
it's just you
who thinks
you are invisible
A contest entry
- Art on the Bayou (closes at midnight) by MuddyKing.
400 points, ended April 24, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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applaud this
Good piece and the picture fits the theme of your poem
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Interesting twist by the ending of this. It was captivating and matched the painting - it never lost my attention and it was a good write, especially in such few chosen words. Wonderful.
~Ryan~
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excellent take on the painting
invisible as fear
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wow, this so complements the picture and could have other meaning as well, but, here for this contest, you've so captured the picture with few words and so well written, it is amazing! I was quite taken with it and I wish you Good Luck in the contest!
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Incredible. So much meaning in so few words. Good luck in the contest.
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Wow
Just from reading it, I felt as though it were not your poem or some other person you addressed, but you looked directly into my eyes and straight though my transparent skin.
This amazed me and struck me deeply. Thank you; I needed it. I had begun to lose hope that there are original poems still in existance.
I simply adore the arrogance in the ending, as though you brag of your ability to exist without a mask and sneer at those who convince themselves of the lie.
Fantastic.
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Oh my! You opened your closet and sliped on the mask of the dark genre and you wear it comfortably. this is very well done. I found that you forced me to read it very quickly. Great work!
Love,
Amera
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Oooo! Ahhhhh!
Dear grannyeri,
You couldn't hide from me in this one!
A wonderful entry and terrific wording.
Good Luck in the contest
Tang
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What a sensation write you have here, you captured so many meanings in one piece, when one goes back and reads again, it can be taken so many different ways, awesome job
Karen
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An interesting interpretation of the painting, Lady...Many suffer from these dark delusions...Good luck in Muddy's contest...
Wanda
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Wonderful write! How true it is, I guess we have all done this from time to time. Tried to hide from our real selves and the world. Great metaphor and meaning.
Best to you!
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Awesome write!! Works well with the picture and contest.
Best of luck to you.
Jeannie
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