I dream of you
All through the day, all through the night
I dream of you
My dreams are happy, never blue
Whether you're near or out of sight
My life is full, complete delight.
I dream of you.
Revised
I dream of you
All through the day, all through the night
I dream of you
My dreams not happy, always blue
Whether you're near or out of sight
My life is grim, replete with fright
I dream of you
Author notes
Written July 20th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Love, love and more love! by Baby Blue Bubba.
300 points, ended June 2, 2005, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write about almost anything you want. by TheDevilInYourHead.
430 points, ended August 23, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rondeaus, Rondels and Rondelets- Prewrites Allowed by Mercury Rising.
1000 points, ended September 9, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This and That by Nicole Hanna.
1000 points, ended August 1, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Ooooh, and you did it with form... and a rondelet no less (one of my personal favorites)! Very nice. It's the exact opposite. Now, I do believe you could probably find imagery that's a little less cliched "happy dreams", "never blue", "complete delight", etc., but I'm just happy to see a rondelet in relation to this challenge. Many thanks for entering
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This is such a beautiful love poem...I love the repetition "I dream of you"-You chose it perfectly as the repeating line!
"Whether you're near or out of sight
My life is full, complete delight."
This part is my favorite of the poem...when you love someone, even their shadow can make you happy when you miss them, isn't it? At least, this is how I feel...
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A really delightful poem that was pure and simple and a pleasure to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
David
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Short, but with so much to say. That's a very tough thing to do and you did great. Well done.
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nice work. good luck.
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very nice good luck
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Short and sweet. I too am working on expirimenting with varied forms of poetry and this is one of them.
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This is a very good poem, very short, but we all understand what you are saying. I love the pattern you use with your syllables, it made you poem flow with ease. Great job.
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i agree with NeverBeTheSame...it looks like it was very hard to write. but nevertheless, you did an excellent job that i could never top! this is so beautiful. thank you for explaining how you did it too, because i'm learning about new poetry forms! great poem.
-blanket -
looks like it was very difficult to right but very beautiful the simple word choice make it very appealing
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ooh, interesting form! Wonderful poetry as well...you say so much in these few words! Good luck in the contest and all else!
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Never have heard of this form but see its complexity in terms of creating an ambience without feeling stilted - you did this quite nicely and the simple but tender refrain suits such a write
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good
Well done Bill. I will have to try these again. I have so much trouble getting the 3 refrains to work well on such a short poem.
A good read.
John -
This was such a sweet write, and I could especially relate to it as I'm in a long distance relationship, and thus constantly dreaming of my love. Anyways, I loved the simple way you phrased each line, and yet it poured out a much deeper meaning and love than was actually stated. This was an interesting form, one I'll definitely be attempting sooner or later. Well done, good luck in the contest.
Renae. -
Thanks for introducing me to a new form! This is one I like- short, rigid rhyme/refrain scheme, plus a syllable restriction- what a challenge! Yours is a great example; I liked in line 4 how the syllables were grouped in sections of 5 and 3, breaking up the four-syllable pattern. Plus, it's a sweet, simple, and true poem about love. Nice job!
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Dreams can be very productive in making us feel good, a lovely write................................
Good luck with the contest
take care
sanity -
are you tapping into my life or what ? ha ha ha
this was great and I really could relate to dreaming about someone all the time.
Yvonne
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