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The Fathers' Love

As
I walk
I hold you
Beyond lifes'cares
~~~*~~~
Never did I leave
You to lifes' stern stormy seas
I heard your frail weakened pleas
I ran swiftly to
~~~*~~~
Your side in love
To hold you
In my
arms

Author notes

Arkquian

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Candy6
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is beautiful write. My father and I trying to listen to each other and have less agruments.


  • Arkbear gold member
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful ~

    Ok....this is beautiful ~

     

    I loved the way you took us from one

    stanza to the next without any interuptions ~

    That is hard to do with this form ~

     

    Lovely message and not too bad of a presentation ~

     

    The thing I am going to deduct points for is all the CAPS

    at the beginning of your sentences ~

     

    1.2 pts deducted for that ~

     

    Not necessary my Dear Friend  ~

     

    Splendid Artwork to inspire this write as well ~

     

    I wish you the best in this contest with all of these great entries ~

    Bear ~

     

     


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    April 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFUL

    The most wonderful reminder of our Creators love He is always there to pick us up when we fall...The picture is fits just perfect EXCELLENT!!!


  • Samplette gold member
    April 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely written Arkquain. You have written the form quite well. I wish you the best in the contest. Very nice.
    Sam


  • Desire gold member
    April 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!!

    Love this and the message conveyed
    Beautiful power that Lifts Spiritually
    Of course Love the form as well~
    I have not tried with but will give it a whirl!
    Thank You for sharing this my Friend

    Best wishes to You in the contest!
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~

  • Arkbear gold member
    April 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for this entry ~

    Thank you so much for your entry ~

    I will review your entry for certain criteria

    expected from this contest ~

    If you do not hear back from me within

    2 hours of the contest deadline,

    you might want to review your own entry

    and make sure EVERYTHING in

    the RULES have been followed ~

    I will review syllable count just once,

    AND, if there is/are any line/s missing a syllable/s,

    I will let you know only ONCE!

    If you decide to enter a write without

    a syllable count, it better be good, as I can see you did ~

    I am looking forward to reviewing your entry ~

    However, Judging will NOT take place until

    closing of this contest, therefore,

    I will not read the Theme or Storyline until that time ~

    The best of luck to you in this contest!

    Sincerely,

    Bear ~

     

  • FindingFate
    April 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Simply beautiful. I need this uplifting.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    April 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yet another form of poetry dear poetess,how versatile you are,this piece plays the harpsichord of the harmony of being loved unconditionally,amen to that

1 - 10 of 10