A night in the wasteland
and a thousand more
below the crescent moon,
on his flag
symbol of victory
of life over death,
on the sky
symbol of freedom,
from jejune days.
Enfolded by bestial desire
and wide garments alike,
a silhouette in the desert,
he murmurs a dirge
for a kingdom lost,
a realm
of limpid pleasure
like the sweet taste of grapes,
a land
of febrile agony
and distress.
His soul determined
to constantly meander,
leaving behind nothing
but mournful cacophony
on his way to the limpid
crescent moon.
Author notes
Option #1
A contest entry
- Options for everyone! (prewrites also allowed) by anoetic poet.
450 points, ended April 25, 2007, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I absolutely loved the word choices throughtout this entire piece. Very smart writing. I am glad I clicked on this one. Keep them coming! thank you for sharing. Peace and light always in all ways, Kendal
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Though sad, was beautiful. Leaves me with a very nostalgic picture in my mind.
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Aaaaaw. This was such a great write! Honestly, it was. The whole flow of this poem, was nothing but perfect! I really liked this part;
"a realm
of limpid pleasure
like the sweet taste of grapes,"
Wonderful Wonderful job! I applaud you for such great work! Keep it up!
Tori
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I can see it, though i found this piece just odd to get through. Don't get me wrong, i feel like it is well written, just perhaps out of my element, thus something that isn't 'wrong'.
Good write! -
Splendid imagery.... I can imagine a defeated king, haunted by memories on a journey away from lonely reality.
Thanks for entering and good luck! -
I don't think I exactly follow what it is you are trying to communicate here, but that is actually ok. This piece is full of wonderful images that, even standing alone, are interesting to contemplate. So much of writing is journey, and this work made me not mind so very much never quite getting to the end.
Good luck in your future works.
~Das
PS - Check out the Raven contest (20,000 points and cash) coming to Allpoetry this June.
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