I grow this poem in thicker thought
on nimbus brewing drop, as acid,
swimming grey,
inside of doubt
afraid of letting go, as copping out;
this weather brewing hope
for Drought's delusion, I recall,
to hang suspended
in simmered dream of love,
above the sand of letters scattered
in Evaporation's cells,
as freckled skin so easily burned,
still sending wind to warn
of such a burst,
its promised feathered kiss,
aborting secret
imploding line.
A contest entry
- The Clouds by Heart Sutra.
525 points, ended April 27, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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abstract and imagery
A paradoxal abstract again, metaphore blended in moods,
deep thoughts as a storm brews memories..enjoyed the
newness of this approach.
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and the three happy claps ...
of course!
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Very textured.
Congratulations on the gold and the privileged read.
Love, Myra
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Woo weeeeee look at you decked in the Gold
wonderful poem and great concept taking from the prompt some great penning on this page,
Thanks for sharing,
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
this really is such a strong poem. I'm not so sure about the necessity of capitalizing Evaporating. That didn't seem like a word to POP out at me in that verse. But, you recapture my attention wholly with the use of two words in your final verses with abort and implode - both of them creating some sort of impactful image (regardless of their context overall).
A well done piece with a very strong use of imagery and language.
Kim
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This is excellent. You do manage to always show such depth in your words, while also creating a lot of space for the reader to breathe in between the lines.
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Mirages? Simmered dreams and love letters in the sand, secrets shared with wind and tide to be erased everywhere but the heart. There love lives and breathes, unscathed. Or perhaps it is the other way around...the heart lives and breathes within love.
(It's been rumored that freckled skin has been kissed by angels... but my son-in-law just laughs and tells me I have been standing at the wrong end of a cow.
Will have to straighten that boy out!)
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this is really powerful. leaves me feeling sad...
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