Exhumed
The mist was thick; you could cut it with a knife
Something I must, do, as it consumed my life
A morbid attraction I could not resist
With a knife you could easily cut the mist
A necropolis surrounded by a grey stone wall
Population of dead; encaged in their thrall
Dwelling place for a secluded populace
A grey stone wall; an encircled necropolis
I felt content when he passed away
Raised and elated on his funeral day
There was no more pain, no torment
When he passed away, I felt content
On his grave I stand; above his rotting bones
Forced I am, to remove these stones
So I meet him again, as he had it planned
Above his rotting bones; on his grave I stand
There’s a chill in the air on this rancid night
As ghosts brush my arm and give me a fright
He’s doing it again; he’s giving me a scare
This rancid night; there’s a chill in the air
So I opened the lid in the dark of the night
Exposing the smell and the putrid sight
So there he was in his coffin he hid
In the dark of the night, I opened the lid
I snatched up the letter and ran down the lane
When the bastard took it; he was insane
Am I free once again; dare I feel much better?
I ran down the lane as I snatched up the letter
Author notes
Swap Quatrain:
Each stanza in the poem must be a quatrain (four lines) where the first line is reversed in the fourth line. In addition, line 2 must rhyme with line 1, and line 3 must rhyme with line 4 and so on, BUT not repeat the same rhyming pattern on subsequent stanzas.
In a list
- Swap Quatrain • next in list
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- ღ Favourites of my Favourites • next in list
A contest entry
- Pic Interp #2 by Sacrificial Love.
900 points, ended May 16, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Dark and scary
I loved the darkness in this poem almost as i loved the creepyness of it good luck in the contest -
EXCELLENT
You put all the good qualities of a poem into digging someone up. I am still trying to figure out the letter part. I like the very first line however and you carried me through digging this guy up. I like the gray stone wall of the cemetary. You explained it twice effectively without hurting the poem, which I think is hard to do.
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You took me right through digging a dead person up and made it sound like it was fun. Once again excellent rhyme and meter. The first line I like I lose it when he has the letter. Ive read it a few times and call me dense but I'm not putting that together.
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You took me right through digging a dead person up and made it sound like it was fun. Once again excellent rhyme and meter. The first line I like I lose it when he has the letter. Ive read it a few times and call me dense but I'm not putting that together.
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You took me right through digging a dead person up and made it sound like it was fun. Once again excellent rhyme and meter. The first line I like I lose it when he has the letter. Ive read it a few times and call me dense but I'm not putting that together.
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Damn
I love dark writes so much
But this... It's really chilling
Can almost spook anyone out
And have them running down the lane empty handed
I also loved your word use
(even if i don't understand some words, but I look it up)
But you've got me hanging to your every word
and still hanging now cuz I don't know what the letter is about
This poem also reminded me of a picture
oh... its the same picture you liked with the girl by a grave
anyway, this was excellent
nothing less.
keep it up
Love,
NeveR ♥
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Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!
Amera, A dark and yet scintillating tale of macabre done in this very special form. Your talent is so profound as your verbiage creates alluring imagery no matter the subject. The rhythm and rhyme are spectacular and I love how this form swaps the last line of the quatrains. Another new form for me to ponder. I learn so much from both you and Pamela. Thank you for sharing your gift with another masterpiece penned at your hand. I love reading your work. It's easy to see how you became a fast favorite. Love you my friend, Joyce
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Okay...thanks a lot...now I have to keep
the light on in the bathroom...
Unless you and allan wanna come over
and sit up with me
Love, Lane -
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~ Looking over my shoulder I call out: Allan! Allan! Pack our bags, we’ve been invited to the island!
Love,
Amera
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Horay! I need a vacation...
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Holy Moly!!
Holy Moly Mother of Pearl Jam!!
What a verse You have penned my Friend and I must say it kept me on the edge of my seat
Powerful images that danced in my Mind and said...
Oy!
Loved this one!!!
Beautiful form too~~
Magnificent chill, it raised hairs on the arms and back of neck too
That is a good thing
Best wishes to You in the contest!
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Very interesting, dark and revealing. Quite a story. Full of hidden metaphors. Well constructed and powerful. Three bunnies.
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Amera, a rather interesting write! I like this style and form. Youa re pretty good on the creepy stuff! LOL! by the way yu did not give me my next assignment? I am back from CA but return 22nd of June until the first of July. yeah, this was an interesting write.
Dad
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