The flesh atones,
Sin
Heat within heat,
Hell or Home?
Melting - Sizzling
Memories fade...
All I find left is porcelain white skeletal bones.
Cut open
No secrets
Truth in it's truest form.
...This is what the fire does...
Author notes
Please...enjoy.
A contest entry
- ~~~Underwater/Inside the fire~~~ by phoenixonfire.
300 points, ended April 29, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Damn you captured that perfectly, truth in it's truest form. Awesome write, congratulations on winning the contest.
whisper
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I loved it so much!! There is so much intensity in this write!! With so less words u have expressed the feel of fire on your body...i like that word flesh atones! great expression!!
Thanks for entering and good luck!!
preets
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To put it quite simply, there is a thing as short and sweet and this is it. i love the kind of poem that gets strait to the point and you dont have to read to much to get the same desired effect in a few simple lines...
this is a wonderful poem, and it must have come from an equally wonderful mind, keep the pen ready and the lyrics comin!
however, if i can critique a little, although this poem is greatly great. Be careful of what words you use, some have greater effects than others. and some may mislead readers and bring them to a wron or innacurate conclusion... this can be bad or quite the opposite, Poetry being the written art and all...
anyways
nice work ^_^
mike.
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This is a very powerful write, it has impact which is greater than many of the epic poems I have read. The simplicity of the background is a wonderful backdrop to your words, and the font colour gives a heat of its own to mirror the heat of the words. Very good luck in the contest K
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Hot, firey, fun! Love it!
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Wonderful use of metaphore......rather deep for such a short write....I found that very appealing....best of luck to you!!
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