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The Sorcerer and the Voodoo Demon

Missing image

 

 

 

The sorcerer considered the plight
Of all who accept selfless love
And ground with mortar and pestle
The means of his symbolic death
The supplicant sacrifice
The fire to thaw one frozen heart
As one is burned to dust

The voodoo demon paced around
Concerned that the cage was not enough
To hold the princess for the night
Not afraid the pale and beautiful child will escape
But that something powerful would break in
Taking his prized possession from him
He fanned the flames of the incense
And recited the incantation once again
Watching all shadows warily

The wizard lay upon his bed
And sipped the potion most foul
Shortly finding himself in the cage
Without corporeal form or shape
Silently he whispered to the princess words
Words that she did not want to hear
“You must remove all of your clothes
fight your fear, trusting me implicitly,
take my hand and close your eyes.”

The voodoo demon watched and saw
His captive, naked, walking through the bars
Eyes tightly closed, a mist surrounding her
He followed her as she walked through the wall
Outside he bewitched her, “Open your eyes! See the Man!
I am the man of your dreams! Open your eyes!”
The sorcerer kept his gentle hold and spoke softly
“Your dreams are tricking you. Walk on and smile”

The battle raged on, as demon and wizard fought
In a life and death struggle to win her obedience
She felt the wizard’s hand upon her shoulder
It was gentle and calm, she felt safe and relaxed
She felt the hot breath of the voodoo demon
As he screamed to her with his powerful voice
Filling her with lust and fear, making her feel alive
She wanted to walk on, she wanted to open her eyes

 

 

 

 

 

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • ocerus
    May 2, 2007

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    Frankly, this is kind of an odd poem to me, and I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. There are, just as frankly, some tremendously evocative, emotive, and well-delineated images here. When it comes to describing the physical world, you're quite good. Frankly, I think you're a lot better at that than I am - although of course I don't know if you would find that a compliment or not. With regard to the storyline . . . honestly, I though it was a trifle vague. In addition to that, the poem didn't seem to have any discernable rhythm. But you vocbabulary is impressive (again, I think it's better than mine) and there is a lot that's good here. And there's a lot more that's good than bad. - oce

    . Rewarded 8


    • Allan Emery silver member
      May 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Why, thank you! I am a bit tired of the same old, same old myself. The storyline was vague? A princess must decide whether to choose the physical world or the spiritual world. If she chooses the physical, she will be under the Voodoo demon's spell and in his cage. If she chooses to walk with the wizard, she will lose the lusty pleasures the voodoo world offers. Was it that hard to see? Thanks for the comment.
  • Sunshinegf
    May 2, 2007
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    nice work

    awesome poem i loved it

  • Nicole Hanna
    May 2, 2007

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    I have this sick fascination with all things voodoo, lol, so of course I had to stop in and see what this one was all about. I'll admit, I'm a little surprised at the rather literal tone it had. Wether or not it's literal, I don't know, but that's how it read to me. I was thinking it'd have a Louisiana blues kind of feel, verses a story about wizards and demons. Historically speaking, there are no wizards connected with voodoo. lol. I can't help it. I had to point that out. I enjoyed this regardless, it just wasn't what I was expecting. :

    • Allan Emery silver member
      May 2, 2007
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      Well... things are what they call themselves. So, if one enlists a wizard to help vanquish a voodoo demon, then one does. The difference between a wizard and a voodoo demon is that a wizard calls himself a wizard and the voodoo demon calls himself a voodoo demon. Other than that they are very similar. Thanks for the comment.

  • vanteya37
    May 2, 2007

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    Amazing

    The use of imagery pulls at your reader. Made me remember why and how much i love fantasy. thank you for sharing this.

    . Rewarded 4


    • Allan Emery silver member
      May 2, 2007
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      That's quite the look you are giving me. Do you think I am the sorcerer or the voodoo demon? Does my dragon give it away?

  • left
    May 2, 2007

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    In the land of tenthousand isles mages challenge eachother to determine whose skills of wizardry prevail over the others. Countless demons are summoned and unleashed that should not be in this plane. Fights like these never end. They merely change venues. It is what happens in this ignorant world. Thank you for creating and sharing and good luck in the contest. Take care,

    U

  • Kiusha
    May 2, 2007

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    But, but, how does it end? Did she get away eventually? I love the suspense, and the alternating between the wizard and the demon.

  • ariosto silver member
    April 30, 2007

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    This is quite a narrative poem. A real story.
    Caught me up in it.

    good work!
    Thanks for entering


  • Amera gold member
    April 23, 2007

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    I did read this, I was going to come back and comment. The flow is wonderful and rolls of the lips like honey. It leads to an image that is dark yet not really dark. Almost like a fairy tale. Being as close to you as I am I see additional images buried here. The verbiage is well chosen and the structure is classic. All in all this is a wonderful write. Well done!

    Love, your
    Amera


  • truembrace
    April 23, 2007

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    such crisp details and so very thorough with your flow in this form. I think you couldn't have been more vivid and had a better story telling in this poem if you really tried.

    well done indeed - so full of voodoo/magic that it just may daunt the other writers from considering entry after reading this piece.

    Kim


  • Allan Emery silver member
    April 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    <

    Mhm.
1 - 17 of 17