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{Your Shadows, I Do Fear}

My soul,
became damaged,
as life unfolds.

Bruised ego,
skin color changes,
as your hands unfold.

Rips and tears,
the injured mind,
greatly dispairs.

Battered, cold stares,
the human race,
run from one's dispairs.

Reaching out,
i'm crawling,
you ignored the shouts.

Scraped about,
barely alive,
I screamed and shout.

Fear held me,
kisses of death,
become my destiny.

Before me,
rage surfaces,
now it's your destiny.

Heart bleeds,
inside on fire,
as revenge I seeked.

Hate filling me,
taking control,
your life is what I seek.

Beat you,
make you feel the pain,
of all the hell you put me through.

Knife you,
watch you bleed the way I did,
alone in that bathroom, i'm through.

Washing my hands,
I no longer fear you,
Must break free of your command.

Wheeled away,
in the ambulance that night,
barely breathing, barely alive, I broke your command.

Scared as hell, alone here,
afraid of a reoccurance with you,
all shadows I must fear.

Will you be near,
in the winds howl,
I must let go of all that I fear.

I can't, not yet, i'm scared,

I can't hide from you

I know your out there...

This isn't right, nor fair,
I'm running frantic,
And you are walking....somewhere out there...

Author notes

I was married for 13 years(well 10 + 3 years bfore div. final> I was running scared for years, fear claiming my heart anad soul. Wondering if one day he wil come back and finish his task. He always said he would and even told our then, 4 and 5 yo that he will kill mommy next time. I was scared afraid to sleep, after beaten down so many times then near death many mre, you become a victim of fear. I have many frieds who have gathered by myside and made me see many things., I no longer run, i stand my ground and wont back down in his presence. He does not own me and no longer has control of me. Yet sometimes, i do worry, i do hide from the world, but im trying. Of course this is in my view only, in from of him I will not coward down. Face him and face offf . I m glad i become stronger in that area not to let him see what he does to me.hm.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    May 8, 2007
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    Fear held me,
    kisses of death,
    become my destiny.
    This isn't right, nor fair,
    I'm running frantic,
    And you are walking....somewhere out there...

    this describes me so well and so many others too. thank you for your entry and i wish you the best of luck. viyanna rosemarie


  • poeticweaver gold member
    April 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful!

    Nothing to fear but fear itself..once that grasp is put within you, deep inside your thoughts..You can no longer really be free, nor live.. I'm so glad that you have become stronger, and know that you can stand your own..one way or another, even if you need, or get help..your spirit soars now higher because you have learned that fear can cripple your very soul.. I love my friend. Be blessed, and take care! -Timothy aka poeticweaver~ **

  • Kelly2heart
    April 24, 2007

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    Your friends, but more importantly, God is there to lift you up my friend.*hugs*
    Romans 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
    How much more obvious can it be, that you survived all of that, for some special plan He has for you. He doesn't just want your pain to be bearable, but touchable too, so that you can take forth your victory, and share with others.

    ~Kelly2heart


  • Sgt B
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I am so sorry

    You went through all that. I really don't know what else to say.

    You poem had so much emotion I broke down reading it. Very emotional indeed.


  • Debbysmiles gold member
    April 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I sure do understand. Even to this day.. and it has been over 7 years- I have a standing restraining order. He can not come within 1000 feet of me. It has taken a long time to be able to sleep at night. This is a good piece. Best wishes in the contest. My heart is with you as well as my prayers. love debby

  • Souless Dreamer
    April 22, 2007
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    sorry i'm reviewing again, i really just wanted to add an applause! =)

  • Souless Dreamer
    April 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is really powerful. i really like it alot! great job


  • UntitledScream
    April 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It is good you got away. I have been there too, but not for as long. You are a strong person. I liked this poem although its a bit confusing because it feels like at the beginning you are speaking in metaphor, but then it seems like you change to literal events. Other then that small detail this is a fantastic poem about a terrible subject.

    Love Linzi

1 - 8 of 8