By permission, may I have as my mission
The right to deal with the omission of my father
Who abandoned me at an early age
Left me with a heart full of rage, when that same rage
Should have been locked, in a cage
I am HIS omission and by his voluntary volition
His confliction is that he leaves me
To deal with this mission
Alone
A contest entry
- Omission by azure85.
600 points, ended April 23, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Spare no details, tell me exactly what you think about this ....
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow. Wow. Wow. Very strong emotions are charged, compressed within this few lines waiting to burst it self at unknowing reader.
I started wondering of how would one describe a mission or what is one's conviction to Life is, but you have left me wondering naught.
I like the way how circumstances are described, forcing "you" to undertake this mission involuntarily and you swear undying vengeance to the causative person - father.
There are a lot of conflicting notions involved in this one, like whether retribution is necessary, and what perspective should one hold, and what is the right way to deal with such an irresponsible person.
I respect that this is a poem, so these questions may not be sufficient answered, yet, your poems did raised them to me, encouraging me to seek these answers in the name of fairness.
I also like how you ended this, being "alone" to accomplish such dark deeds, indeed, there are very few who could really relate to such an unhappy situation.
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A strong and sad write. It happens to much in this world and little boys need their fathers as they grow. My son went through the same thing. But you find your own way and strength in it. "What does not kill you, makes you strong". I know you are sytrong and good.
Congratulations on the HM.
Best always!
Love,
mystic
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OH My heart aches for you, I hate when fathers leave their sons, but I do believe reading your stuff, I think you are a better man for it! Congrats on your HM!
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Thanks for the sentiment!!
I think I am too ... thanks again.
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hmm, very lyrical, I like it! i have a close friend in teh same situation, great job, thanks for posting it.
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Welcome to Omission!
This is a very sad thought, but powerfully written in your poem.
I am HIS omission and by his voluntary volition
His confliction is that he leaves me
To deal with this mission
Alone
It is his loss, and you expressed these feelings so well. Thank you so much for your entry and good luck in the contest!
Susie
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Thanks.
And the opportunity to enter the contest is always appreciated.
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Oh this is painful and sad,well written and full of emotion.
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Thank you love!!
I appreciate your thoughtfulness within these comments!
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