A monster in it's own respect,
I'm sleeping with Prince Valium.
I've left my home in sanity
to off and find my vanity.
Fingers travel down my throat,
atrocious inhumanity.
A binge, a purge, a guarantee
there's nothing still inside of me.
My eyes are wet, my hands are cold,
my head is acting funnily.
I look around but I can't see.
My vision's far too watery.
I turn and try to see the door.
They'll soon begin to look for me.
A purge, two pills and then I'm done.
Collapse and now disease has won.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love it. The end.
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wonderful job on all the description words that yo used! you have great way with words and your poems are guhhhreat!
<3
=]
jess,caty, and ashley<3
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This piece is intense and held me in suspense for what was to be said next. Your flow is constant and each phrase builds upto the next. I loved your imagery and detail, as well as how you have personified the disease. I believe you speak of depression, which takes ahold of many lives. Your metaphors were also quite grand. Though I hadn't been on AP for a few months, I am glad to have returned. Your writing is such a blessing to have been able to return to, for you write with a "golden pen".
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Wow. I like this a lot. the flow of its really good. This is sad. I ushualy dont like this type of write. but you did it so well that it caught my attention Thank you so much for sharing your words with me. Great job once again.
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the portrait drawn is exquisitely depressive and the message strong. The rhyme scheme holds some value but breaks down completely in lines 10-12 (very childish and forced). The final 2 lines conclude it well.
~*Starr*~ xxx -
Great!
This is awesome! I love it. The imagery and point of the pill as Prince Valium being the monster was incredibly insightful. I loved the structure, vocabulary, rhythm, and flow. Feel free to check out my latest, Acrostica, for another with a similar rhythmic flow. -
THis is such a said poem, i feel very deeply for you. It's so tragic when a person submits to an eating disorder. This poem perfectly defines the struggle and the saddness
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this is a nice poem. I love the rhyme scheme to it and the flow. It seems very natural, not forced like some poems that I read. It seems to me like you knew exactly what you were going to write when you wrote it. Great job and please keep writing. You have a good way with your writing.
-Witchress
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