butterfly’s nature,
wondering, eventide caught,
between solitude,
playful, squirrel's ground,
forest, scamper, jack-rabbit's,
ambience, flight pond fish,
left prance, footsteps hoof,
departing its trail glass pond,
doe's amazement seen,
rustling its thicket,
mused drink, upon spring's, smitten
butterfly's storm eve.
In a list
A contest entry
- Chain Haiku's of Nature by InBetweenThoughts.
600 points, ended April 25, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - JUST TWO DAYS TO REACH 1000 ENTRIES !!!! ( BE A PART OF THIS RECORD BREAKING CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 1, 2008, 526 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Graphic Artists/poets too by piccola.
900 points, ended May 25, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haiku - Tanka Challenge by ryno mcpherron.
620 points, ended June 16, 50 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 65 of 65
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amazing butterfly brain processing it all. a very interesting, entertaining write.
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Thank you
Thank you for the wonderful comments given to my poem. I'm glad you liked it. Saddie23
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this is beautiful. If it were center aligned it would look even more beautiful. thank you for entering.
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So nice
Though not a real poet I see that this style is different then I could ever write. So soft and gentle are the words that bring a smile to this old face
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thank u
this means a lot to me to see so many responses and wonderful sentiments given to my poem. Saddie23
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I picked this one to read because you had 60 comments (Congratulations) and I was not disappointed it was very well written LOVELY
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thank u
thank u for the wonderful sentiments given to my poem. Saddie23
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lovely
Beautiful poem. Good haikus. -
I am always truly amazed by people who can do haikus well -- mine always turn out...well, not so fine, to put it politely. It's the brevity that always gets me, and my tendency to ramble: something you absolutely don't do in your haikus here. I absolutely love the fact that most of all you use nouns -- very compact meaning, but also very lovely choice of words. There is something about every single haiku that makes the reader stop and ponder, considering the deeper meaning of the vivid scene for a while...and this is after all one of the main purposes of haikus, at least so I'm told.
All in all I found these haikus really beautiful and wonderfully crafted. I even envy you abit for doing so well in a form that causes me such headache!
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You have an amazing style in this piece and you have an amazing sense of imagery. Your word choice made it easy for the reader to picture the scene you described. Great work!
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Oh my
I am still learning the Haiku form let alone chain Haiku so I would not be a good critique on the form but over all I enjoyed this poem. I read it over a couple times and it helped give me insight to the Haiku. Good write.
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Great. I really love this write. It's great. I love this part: left prance, footsteps hoof,
departing its trail glass pond,
doe's amazement seen,
Good luck in the contest!!! -
rustling its thicket,
mused drink, upon spring's, smitten
butterfly's storm eve.
This is truely an amazing move my friend defining the story of the magic of the nature with the wings of butterfly ..beautiful penning and miracululous immaggery is here...Your flow of the sentiment is a key to understand this beauty of life ..The crescendo of the thoughts here are truly wonderful and touching..Very impressive work is here...
a great poem...
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Very nice
This poem has a lovely rhythm to it..
Good job...
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Wow, interesting and love the creative imagery used. The words used fitted perfectly.
I love the Haiku chain, is that what it is? The form is just in top shape and just looks beautiful at first sight and after reading it.
Well done and thanks.
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Wow!
I'm so glad u stopped by, and read my ku. I wamt to thank u for the gracious critiques and comments. Saddie23
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This is a beautiful write, so smooth and vivid!
Great job!
left prance, footsteps hoof,
departing its trail glass pond,
doe's amazement seen,
rustling its thicket,
mused drink, upon spring's, smitten
butterfly's storm eve.
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thank you
I'm so happy to be praised with this poem. I want to thank u for the gracious critiques and comments given here. Saddie23
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awh! such a sweet poem...i love anything that makes me visualize nature and this poem did just that! thanks alot!
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This is a very nice write sothing to the soul. I love nature so this has put a smile on my face thank you for sharing your amazing talent with us. xx
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What a wonderfully beautiful picture you have painted with your words, a serene forest with animals scurrying about. I loved reading this, calming and soothing in nature. Well done.
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Thank u
Thank u for the great critique and comments. I'm glad u liked my poem. Saddie23
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great write. nice haiku poems
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Thank u
I'm moved that u like my poem. Saddie23
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What a charming and captive write. The imagery is stunning this is whismical and mesmeric Very descriptive and simply beautiful
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Thank you
I'm glad you liked my poem. Thank you for this warmiest critique given here. Saddie23
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Delightful!
Hi Saddie
Beautiful like the fluttering of a butterflies wings! Your poem gracefully dances across the page in wonder and delight!
Beautiful imagery!
I wish you all the best in the contest!
Linda
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Thank you
I'm glad you liked my poem. This was hard to do since I had never done one in a chain. Thank you so much for the wonderful critique. Saddie23
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Very Good
I find haiku to be a real challenge. Well done! Your poem certainly radiates a strong feeling of purity and nature. Despite the existens of a rather thin line of events, the main theme is rather consistent. The idea of little animals playing in the fotest is quite cute. Nice poem.
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Thank you
Ifind it to be a challenge and usually strive through like a mac-truck lol. Thank you for the nice sentiments given on poem. Saddie23
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Beautiful. Amazing. Incredible. Nearly perfect... excellent work writing this. The imagery is marvelous, painting ictures. Great work. No complaints!!
~Kevan!~
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Thank you
My first time doing this haiku chain. I'm shocked with all the nice comments given. Thank you for critiquing my poem. Saddie23
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Just Divine! I like the way this write develops and enjoyed reading it very much. You created a nice transition from the beginning to the ending. Keep the ink of your muse flowing freely from your pen.
♥ Touchof1der
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Thanks
I appreciate all the wonderful critiques given here. Saddie23
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What wonderful imagery.
Great use of descriptive words to bring to mind all kinds of scenes in my mind's eye.
A real pleasure to read.
Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you
Thank you for stopping by and critiquing my poem. I'm glad you liked. Saddie23 -
Thanks
I'm glad you liked my poem and thank you for the beautiful sentiments given here. Saddie23
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Butterfly's are beautiful and you have captured the beauty here in your poem..nature was in a good mood when they made butterfly's..well done, thanks for sharing
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Thank you
Thank you for commenting on poem. Seems we both have something in common. Thats what inspired me to write about.
Just make you feel like the beauty still lives in a chaotic world. Saddie23
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I love butterflies! Great write
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Thank you
Thank you for dropping by and giving your critique. I'm honored that I recieved so many critiques for my haiku. Saddie23 -
thank you
Thank you for commenting. Saddie23
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I was on the Texas gulf coast a few day's ago. It is time for the beginning of the great migration of these beauties. I found a single monarch in a field, looking like a painting. I left it where it was for someone else to see. Your poem united me with that vision.
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Wow!
We have something in common. We both like butterflies too. Their are so beautiful to watch. Their so serene that even if the world is chaotic, they make you feel alright with the world. Thank for the nice comments. Saddie23
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this brings to my mind sooooo many butterflies and the other creatures of nature. Just beautiful. I think we might have been in the same contest...I didn't even get an hm but it's always fun to try
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thank you
I happen to like butterflies too. Thank you for the beautiful comment given here. Saddie23
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Now we're talking ... this is a beautiful haiku chain that makes you want to roll over in the heather ... ah!
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Thank you
When I started writing this haiku, I was thinking almost on the same line. I was thinking blue monarchs like rolling in fields of blue bonnets. Just breath-taking to see here in Texas. Thank you for the gracious comments. Saddie23
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The title and formatting you have chosen for this particular poem are most fitting with the theme flowing throughout the lines. I love the way you have penned this. You have displayed some very creative thinking on your part, as the writer, as well!
♥ Touchof1der
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Thank you
Thank you for saying my poem is good. Learning this new form was a bit hard,but I think with all the praises I did good. Still would like to see you on my favorites. How about it? Saddie23
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this was just yummy! Each stanza a delight to read. I love all these things you speak of. thank you very much for sharing it with us. peace and light, Kendal
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Thanks
I thought would never get this so much praises for my poem. First one done here. Thank you for the praises. Saddie23
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This is wonderfull well written!! Beautiful! I love haikus so much, they are a very powerful short simple style of poetry which is why I love them so much. You have done very well with this piece and I truely enjoyed reading. My favorite part of this poem would have to me...
rustling its thicket,
mused drink, upon spring's, smitten
butterfly's storm eve.
Again, wonderfully done!
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Wow!
I'm so glad you liked my poem. I'm learning to do more forms. I'm honored to high praises for my poem. Saddie23
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good write
It was very refreshing to view so many of gods creachers in one lovely setting good job -
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Thank you
Thank you for the gracious critique. I'm glad you liked. First time doing one of these. Saddie23
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Well, sweet piece, I can certainly see what you're getting at here.
But to me, the disjointed nature of the writing detracts from the delicate scene behind.
My personal view of using a writing form, such as a haiku, is that sure, you can fit a lot into a small space, however it does give the impression that you've had to compress your work, and make your words do more work that they should.
Just my personal feeling, as to me, it seems that creating as much meaning, with fewer words, yet without the disjointedness is harder to create, and more beautiful in this context.
Good luck in the contest!
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Wow!
Such high praises for my poem. I'm honored it fits this form of an haiku chain. I'm impressed of the gracious comments given here. Saddie23
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Saddie23 your pen has gracefully brought such a beautiful scene to this page Great in detail and form. thank you for entering such a delightful read. Good luck in the contest...Have a beautiful day, Ken IBT
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Wow!
I'm so honored with this wonderful critique I have recieved from you. Thank you. Saddie23
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Ahh the lovely Haiku
Would that I could write as well. Beautiful pictures painted with these. Today is certainly a wonderful day. I have read so many fantastic Haikus now than when I have done so in my entire time here at AP. Thank you so much for this lovely write. Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you
I hope this fit an haiku chain. First one done here. I'm glad you liked my haiku. Saddie23
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Good!
Even without reminding us of the emotions you intended to portray, they came through crystal clear. I love the imagery and flow, and this is awesome. Great job. -
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Thank you
I'm still trying to do different kind of forms. I'm glad you liked. Saddie23
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