It will steal all the madness, and protect you from the day
It's a one-way trip to heaven, and it's just a blink away
The 3D solid outlines, and the sound you can forsake
It's only a small price to pay, to never be awake
All that's required is closing your eyes
And then feel the air in your face as you rise
Watch the stars shining, float up to their glow
Run and take flight, leave the world below
Slip into a coma to shut out the sound
It's time to get lost, and to never be found
Released from the pressure, released from the fear
Absent of mortality, so glorious and clear
Promise not to come to life, and all of this will stay
Fall in love with Optophobia
It's just a blink away
Author notes
April 22, 2007..... This is about how I constantly feel... My pshyc thinks I'm crazy because I told her that in my eyes, there is no difference between dreaming and being awake. It's like leading two different lives. Sometimes one is more interesting in the other, and most of the time I would rather be dreaming because in that life I have more freedom. Unfortunatly, this causes a problem because it takes me away from reality... And the more I'm away from reality, the more I don't want to be a part of it... This is about how I'm pretty much scared to wake up. Not because I'm tired, but because I don't like being awake anymore.
Optophobia - Fear of opening one's eyes.
A contest entry
- A CONTEST OF EVERYTHING by Darc Soul.
490 points, ended May 11, 2007, 33 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest For Teen Girls only 13-18 ....~~ by Nature Song.
470 points, ended May 13, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me your feelins by daydreaming.
350 points, ended June 2, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLD SHORTS 1 by Swan song.
2000 points, ends October 19, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I totally understand this feeling and your poetry is very well written however, you already have trophies and that's a rule breaker. sorry.
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I can understand this fear is this is the state of your mind. Some people just can't tell the difference between dreams and reality. I personally hate sleeping, as I feel in sleep that it is real [like everyone else] but it scares me more as I often wake up still believe it is real. Very interesting write here.
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interesting, I don't know how to relate, except that my dreams can be amazing. I wish you the best and this is definately a well writen piece.
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The poem you have written here has a steady flow inside the lines, and the rhyme you used is well done also
I can not know how it must feel to live with this phobia, though I can only imagine how miserable you must feel every morning when you actually do open your eyes.
thank you for entering the contest - I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
I am going to remove this poem because the contest says poem with 50 words or less
You are welcome to enter another poem
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OH.... WORDS.... I misread it and thought it said lines... sorry
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that's okay
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Good poem! i liked the rhyming!
did i tell you you could write about optophobia? i think i did just checking first
see,the thing i'm wondering though is how can you write if this is your true feelings??? that must be difficult for you.....or maybe im stupid i dont know
So,thanks for entering!
-x -
that's a short poem?
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Thank you for sharing your poetry in this contest; I wish you the best of everything
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very good
your poem is amazing the perception is very unique...great work and keep up the great writings
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This is a good title, and it is really cleverly put out
I could feel every emotion so vividly through your words and I felt the pain
I know that fear, I really do
It was so vivd an you described it really well
I'm impressed
This is about the only time I've seen this background work
Well done
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This certainly fits the criteria, wow, awesome poem. I loved the read. Wonderful description, thanks for entering.
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this was a very interesting read. i can understand why you'd want to run away. oftentimes the reality we create seems so much better than true reality. great job here, and good luck.
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I really like the fear you chose and it helps that you actually feel this way; it is seen in the poetry. I really enjoyed your form and rhyme scheme as well and the words really did a nice job at pulling me in. Thank you for entering, good luck!
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DAMN SPELLING ERRORS!
Thanks for pointing that out. -
Thank you for subjecting yourself to my review. I found this a little hard to read. I think it might read a little easier to read if you broke it down into two stanzas. That would give the reader a natural place to pause and reflect on what they has just read. I think there is a typo. I was not able to find the word absant in any dictionary.
Absant of mortality, so glorious and clear
Did you mean to write:
Absent of mortality, so glorious and clear
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Such big words and meanings. Super job. Best of luck.
~Oka/KC -
hey..this was a really great write..i really enjoyed reading this..your words were powerful and emotional as well keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest.
XTashaX -
I know of that fear but yet I love the way you have described this. The thought of not being able to tell the difference between dreams and reality is quite a scary concept and though we all get that sometimes I can't imagine what that is like all the time but I am sure it is discomforting.
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In your opinion there's no difference between dreaming and being awake. Still you'd rather be dreaming because it's taking you away from reality. Those statements are quite contradictionary in my opinion. In your second sentence you created the difference.
It's just too easy (and childish) to think that the world will disappear when you close your eyes.
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Wow, I'd never heard of optophobia, very interesting insight..thanks for entering
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Apparently you didn't read the rules, or at least the updated rules that state "no author comments". You have 'til I look at this again on removing it.
I haven't read it, that was the first thing I looked for.
-Nam
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