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Apartment Block: town and country

Window:
eye remote and still
its shining screen shows
a busy world outside from those
whose solitary living walls them up.
They watch and wait as other people's acts
unfold in episodes
abrupt or linked
in life.


distance
enhances views
as fields and hills recede
beneath a veil of misty blue
or vanish in the swirls of bouncing rain.
All nature's vagaries laid bare
before attentive eyes
and searching hearts:
window.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • PurpleLogic
    April 29, 2007

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    i can realy feal this poem. i know exactly what is going on and i can feel your emotions. i particularly like the 2nd stanza! its a fantastic write,and i hope you do well in the contest!
    God bless


  • zhaniswolf
    April 27, 2007
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    this poem is so cool. way to go as always.


  • raggyann
    April 25, 2007
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    this was wonderful
    so full of images
    even my senses went with this poem


  • Laura Lamarca
    April 23, 2007
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    I enjoyed this piece very much, a little different to the rest in this contest but welcome all the same I like the form you've used, although I can't name it off the top of my head I love how you start and finish on the same word & I love the depth of what you've written. Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest. La x


  • grannyeri gold member
    April 22, 2007

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    Liked how you brought the window back at the end, from the beginning through to the finish- all with the window. Clertainly followed the theme of the contest.


    • crystaldust gold member
      April 24, 2007
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      PrincessOfFire

      Hallo Rose, good to meet you.Thank you for your comments. They are encouraging and interesting. The picture was given in the contest. It just happens that I live in a 2nd floor retirement apartment, so the first verse refers to what I see and hear going on around me and the second verse refers to what the weather outside does and I can see fields at the top of the hill in front of me.
      If it's any encouragement: we don't all stop living! blessings, Joy.


    • crystaldust gold member
      April 24, 2007
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      grannyeri

      Hallo there. Thank you for your encouraging comments: much appreciated. Shall be sorry not to see you on site for a bit and am delighted at the reason why not. Good luck in your new venture. Joy


  • PrincessOfFire
    April 22, 2007
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    Good insight here, though you lost me on second verse.
    I don't know if it was your picture or words or both, but I see this so much when seniors seem to wall themself up in an environment that makes them feel safest. The worst part of this is they stop living.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Rose


  • Pretty Little Thing
    April 22, 2007

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    Very good.

    It's rare to see a poem that so efficiently conveys multiple components of a single scene through imagery. Clear and concise, this poem has awesome flow and vocabulary, and was a pleasure to read and comment on.


    • crystaldust gold member
      April 24, 2007
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      firstwordspoken

      Sorry for the delay in replying to your encouraging and welcome comments. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.


  • Gone-Lost-soul
    April 22, 2007
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    wounderful poem...good flow to it...good way to descibe....so yeah loved it!!
    Jammi


    • crystaldust gold member
      April 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Jammi

      Sorry for the delay in replying, Jammi. Life just got a bit crowded. Your comments are welcome and encouraging. Thank you. Joy


  • parenchma
    April 22, 2007
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    If you had an unlimited time (eternal life), and were dropped naked in nature, how long would it be before you invented and made the glass for the window? I think that thought is one of the keys to a heart of gratitude and appreciation. I love your description of approaching rain. This speaks to the value of a home and shelter.


    • crystaldust gold member
      April 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      parenchma

      I apologise for the delay in replying: life got crowded. Interesting comments and fsascinating question. Glass was first invented centuries ago, but I don't know if we could see clearly through it, or afford to have it in our houses, much before the 16th/17th centuries. Before that I suppose we saw through glasses darkly.
      Cheers!

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