Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Aftertaste of a Dream

The taste of morning is insecticide.
Last night, there was a hill of dreams. In them
I could lift ten times my weight as You stood within my spine.

Today, my ivory is pale.
I'm whiter than remembered, but do not fear
for health does not prohibit miracles.

The morning groans beneath itself,
as dreams left remnants and promises. Tonight
a bonfire will burn, and we will sing without confusion.

I'll be grafted in again.

 

 

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • The Burning Year
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the way you write reminds me of a guy who goes to my school...and not til about 3 minutes ago did i even realize how alike you both are
    it's amazing
    oh yea...I also believe this poem is uncredible


  • chat noir
    April 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    im really loving the bone imagery you've been tracing through lately, it's one of my favorites to follow in my own work as well. "do not fear/for health does not prohibit miracles" -> going into the morning, and grafting, was wonderful. however, the bonefire lines, although i understand them in the context, seem to contrast with most of the piece. i'd describe what i hear in my minds ear but im afraid i'd just sound crazy...as that's exactly where it is -- in my mind's ear.

    alright i'll take a chance on crazy:
    the first two stanzas "sound" "white." or "gauzy." ivory, dreams, hills, the morning, etc etc etc all translucent streamers and dew, all wedding dresses and gardens with lillies and my grandmother's hands and french furniture and calm calm calm...

    yeah, i think im crazy.

    it contrasts quite a bit with the bonfire image -- and if that's what you wanted, you've certainly achieved it.

    the bit about bone grafts, literal and figurative, was brilliant. it stands alone perfectly.

    • marrow
      April 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Ooooh, very interesting. I'm going to go back and look at that as well.


  • natari gold member
    April 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Yay some new ones by you.I will return and this was excellent.Loved the You stood within my spine. good stuff Justin..

    love Helen


  • Gl-ass
    April 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The morning groans beneath itself,

    <3 your words
    they flow

    perfectly!

  • FindingFate
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nothing can prevent miracles. In the belief of our Lord, we must have belief of His miracles. Several were done throughout the bible. He still does them today. You are ever in my prayers and I ever here for you.

    • marrow
      April 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much Trina.
      Remind me to catch up on the daily messages as well as update you with the praises I have.


  • naked roots
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Tonight
    a bonfire will burn, and we will sing without confusion."
    Mind if I sing along?
    This is excellent, loved every line


  • April Renee
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wholey flipppin heck.

    amazing. its so good i actually feel tears in my eyes.
    this is beautiful writing here.

    im sick with envy.

    so you can write, like whatever.

    blu


  • duke of balabamas
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i read all four of them, looking for somethin gi could point out, so i wouldnt feel like im just leaving "good job"s, but alas, your writing is flawless.


  • Macey Muse
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I.

    Your poetry reminds me of what poetry ~should~ be. Something I'd forgotten from never knowing it.

    Yeah. Humbled.

    This, is kinda cumulative from your last four, as I ~ have very little independently pertinent to say.

1 - 13 of 13