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Comfortably Numb (on good ol' rock n roll)

I sold my soul
For thirty pieces of gold
Went an' had me some fun
With a few women an' some

Got well oiled an' juiced
'til my chicks came home to roost
an' the devil came back
Demandin' payment for all that

[CHORUS 1]
All I got left is my skin
To make up for all those sins
An' I got comfortably numb
On good ol' rock n roll I was done...

      [MIDDLE 8]

I sold my dreams for a joke
An' watched them go up in smoke
Had nothin' left I could spare
The devil took 'em all you-know-where.

There was nowhere I could run
Time to pay up for all the fun
An' I couldn't escape
My soul was forfeit my fate.

[CHORUS 2]
Now all I got left is my skin
An' even that now belongs to him
Yeh! I got comfortably numb
On good ol' rock n roll I was done...

Author notes

music style - blue grass slide on open-tuned dobro guitar
loosely inspired by the title by Pink Floyd

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Wyakin
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice poem. Good luck
    Wyakin


  • BlackRimmedEyes
    June 12
    Edit | Reply
    this was great! loved it!


  • MoonlitRoses
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    !!! Wow. This is a cool spin on Comfortably numb. I really like this. Great write. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Romanee
    November 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was really wonderful, it would make a brilliant song, great rhythm all the way through, which I find really important, goodluck in my contest, keep it up, xx


  • jcat gold member
    October 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    yep!! had a night or two like this!! I really liked this poem!! great write... would love to hear it set to the music. thanks for entering and good luck with the contest.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting. Thank you for taking the time to enter and I wish you the best of luck in this contest.Best wihses


  • Crazy-Dan
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    By the long contest list i can tell that you're very cofident in this song. I can see why even though it didn't impress me. For many poems i've seen today have been on not liking the life of the party or not liking being the life of the party.
    Anyways, good metephoricalness of nothing else feeling like you have no choice but to be the life of the party.
    One question though, why does it say Middle 8 in the middle?


  • Soten-Jaganshi
    July 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you have the most amazingly smooth style. I enjoyed this piece immensely. and I love devil-lyrics so so much. thanks for entering my contest, it's been my pleasure to read your lyrics.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting piece of work. Thank you for your entry and the best of luck to you.


  • Dark Magician
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    kewlness

    This was good. You had some good lyrics and some good flow to this. But it's like what wings and andy said the rhyme was forced. Bad news time: I have to dq you for not following rule #6.


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    May 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I understand that it is a melody. and basically worked pretty good. but I did feel the rhyme was a little forced. But over all a good write.
    Thanks for entering the contest.
    And good Luck


  • Andy Stephenson
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Not bad

    I can hear a melody when I read this, so it works well enough in rhythm and the rhyme is okay. However, the rhyme does seem a little stretched or forced. That means it calls unnecessary attention to itself. I think that could be improved.

    Andy

1 - 12 of 12