My thoughts twirl like the autumn leaves caught in a flurry
To settle on a dampened ground
Of feelings slowly decomposing
Awaiting to re-germinate
In springs sprightly embrace
A contest entry
- 5 lines or less by Floorboards.
300 points, ended April 22, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is a wonderful poem... I love that it is concise and yet expresses so much... I feel a wistfulness in this poem that attracts me to read it again and again... your use of language is beautiful
Keep writing
Polly -
Beautifully said. I love when a poem has nature laced through it. Lovely words to embrace, thanks for sharing
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What a lovely write! I like the analogy between thought and feelings and the things of Autumn...which just happen to be my favorite season of all! I love the dormancy and hope for new things to come that it expresses.
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really great! said a lot in so few words. gets the reader thinking for sure! great job hun
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Comparing your thoughts to such a
beautiful scenery and placement
is captivating.
This is beautiful.
Thank you for the read.
M a r l u x i a
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great
especially loved the slowly decomposing feelings
very earthy image -
this is a very nicely written piece.
Short and right to the point
I have no favorite part,
I enjoyed the whole write.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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Good one
Very picturesque. You have some lovely imagery in here, particluarly "thoughts twirl like the autumn leaves..." and "feelings slowly decomposing".
The poem is short and to the point. Something that to me can mean a great deal.
The poem, though starting off about dying, is also full of the hope of new life, renewed vigour, with the coming of spring.
Beautifully written poem, desrving of more than the 3 applauds I can give it.
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Very nice. I love these lines. How beautiful, what an image with just so few words.
Amazing write, may I say.
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I like this too. You really do well with these short-writes. Thoughts.. settle on feelings... I interpret this a couple ways, 1. a relationship, you know... thoughts settling on how things went, but spring is coming soon, rebirth. Spring for me is not a time of love but actually a time of solitude, in terms of love personified as seasons.
Anyway, off course.
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This fits in so well with the season just now - liked the images this brings to mind, the smells , sights, sounds of spring are seen in these lines. Season feelings is an appropriate title that fits so well with the write. Liked the alliteration in spring's sprightly embrace as well. Can see those autumn leaves twirling in a flurry too. Well chosen words - easy to read and understand.
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This is short, but very beautiful Isn't spring such a wonderful season? My favourite actually since everything comes to life again well written!
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Short, sensual and beautiful are the words that come to mind when reading this piece.
'In springs sprightly embrace'
Think of me as silly but I feel like going out and grabbing a long thin branch on a tree and wrapping it around me to feel 'springs sprightly embrace'. I love spring, so there for, love spring poetry. Great write! -
The Season of Feelings
My thoughts twirl like the autumn leaves caught in a flurry'....the bestline of it all..
caught up in the twirl of the rest thank you for the read.. -
yeah, i know the feeling, nice use of metaphors here, thank you very much for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck to you,
floorboards. -
very good
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wow!
fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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