They say she comes from money, I thought she came from Maine
Her very fav’rite pastime is causing me great pain
She locks me in the basement and she tortures me each night
But her legs are long and lovely so I guess that it’s all right
I call her sweet, sweet honey, and she calls me “Hey! Jackass!”
Tuesday I took her dancing, on Wednesday got a cast
I took a sip from her beer now I have two black eyes
But from down here on my knees I get a good look at her thighs
Her father is a stripper, her mother is a priest
One time I went to their house for a Thanksgiving feast
They made me work all daytime splitting firewood logs
Then she washed me off with gravy and I slept out with the dogs
She bugs me for some buss fare after totaling my car
But I don’t care because her face looks like a movie star
I mow her lawn I clean her pool I do her laundry, too
And I even clean her toilet just so I can see her poo
She twists me like a pretzel and she kicks me to the curb
But I will not get angry cause her ass is so superb
She zaps me with her taser, I’m unconscious half the time
But, her boobs are firm and pointed, so I want to make her mine
I’ll never, ever, leave her, she took over my home
If I should ever protest she cracks me on the dome
Some say I shouldn’t take this, but I thank the Lord above
That I’ve found someone who can enjoy my codependent love
Author notes
It's true. Kinda. Not really.
A contest entry
- FUNNY POEMS ENTER HERE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE ME LAUGH by A Leper Messiah.
600 points, ended April 30, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Pretty funny write. It was fun to read.
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No Clue...
About gamerpoet, but you sure have me rolling, and in a
off the wall sort of way, I can also relate. Ain't life grand?
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Oh this was too good, I am cheering her on...I mean not to say I don't feel for you but I think she could be my new Hero! Funny write...good luck!
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There is no "her". I am the dominant one in real life. But, if you want to try on that outfit... who knows...
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Hey! Jackass, you didn't mention that you have two women to keep your ass in line; hehe... this is funny.
Love,
Amera
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