Cowards never make it there,
the peaks where mountain vistas
fill the heart with wonder and grace
Nor to shores that reward
long labor with peaceful place
Cowards never make it there,
the mighty river’s crossing
that tests both mind and will
Nor to ocean’s vast expanse
where inspiration drinks its fill
Cowards never make it there,
the road where freedom kisses joy
for the righteous and the blessed
Nor to Heaven’s open window
receiving there God’s very best
In a list
A contest entry
- INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION by Jeremy0826.
550 points, ended May 3, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Your writing does seem to be quite motivational, as well as being inspirational and deeply moving, Brian. It does require fortitude and courage to make it there, to the end of a well-worn path. Well done, Scribe. 
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Thanks for the excellent suggestions. I agree with you about the comparative weakness of the last line, yet I have not been able to find something else that is satisfactory. It has been one of my nagging frustrations with this piece. As for the addition of "to" to the second lines of each stanza, I have played with that in the initial stages of writing this piece but I didn't like it. I like a slight break or pause in the thought and rhythm after the first line of each stanza. The 1st line of each stanza act's as a kind of refrain reinforcing the main idea of the piece and as such I think the slight break or pause gives it more of the effect I was going for. As for perfection, it's usually admired, often strived for, and rarely achieved. I'm glad that this piece inspires you
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Heavenly!
This just lifts me up to the heavens. Each verse takes me higher and higher. You have inspired me to do more, to be more, and to face more of life's obstacles head on--full of the courage and strength that God has given me. Each line of this poem is high and lofty and truly carries me on the "gentle breath of invisible wings." I LOVE THIS POEM!!!! Thank you for sharing your tender, stalwart strength. This is very special.
All of the natural imagery was so perfect for this type of piece. Creation declares the majesty of its Creator and testifies of Him. In Him we live and move and have our being. From Him we draw our courage, our strength to scale mountain vistas and cross the mighty rivers.
Every word is perfect! In stanza 1, when I get to the phrase "peaceful place", i can physically feel that peace begin to swell withing me. I have read this several time and it happens with EACH reading. And it is so awesome that you didn't jumble up your thought by saying "the" peaceful place. Instead, you describe a state of being, not a physical place. Your poem lifts me to toward that state of being. Wow!
My favorite line in the whole piece is in stanza 2: "where inspiration drinks it's fill." I can so identify with the incredible truth. There is nothing like being out in God's creation to get inspired, especially at the ocean. But here you magnificently personified the inspiration as drinking from the ocean. That was masterful!!!!
I hate to say this about such a wonderful poem, but the last line did not have quite the impact that would be fitting to this poem. When I think about what God's very best is--seeing Him face to face, being changed to be like him, or even a lesser "best" of having the windows of heaven opened to shower down every good and perfect gift--I can consider it a good line. But the phrase "very best" was simply not descriptive or original. It did not reach the height of the rest of your poem. It did not bring the emotional response in me that the rest of your lofty phrasing brought.
In stanza three I loved where freedom kisses joy. Oh the exuberance that liberty brings! But it is ON THE ROAD. It is a journey. It is important to note that it is not at the end of the road. It IS the road where freedom kisses joy. I think that was worded perfectly. There is a great lesson in that!
The only thing I would change about your poem is possibly adding the word "to" to the second line in each stanza. I think I understand why you left it out. But the pause with the comma immediately followed by you noun seems abrupt to me. For me, the "to" helps it flow better as it pertains to the WHOLE stanza, even if the rhythm is slightly affected in that particular line. If I know you, you have already made a very decisive choice on that and weighed it out. But hey, I can't always say EVERYthing you write is absolute perfection! Or can I?
This is an incredibly inspirational poem. I hope that I can gather up my own courage so that I truly may find peaceful place, filled inspiration and God's very best.
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This blew me away. A simply amazing write, absolutely beautiful. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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I am not a coward...Thanks to God. I used to be. This is a very lovely and truth filled write.
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Wow! This is truly inspirational and a joy to read! You have penned so wonderfully the truth of our existence.
A thouroughly enjoyable and uplifting read.
I love the way you used the word 'coward' to describe those who create disharmony and chaos in this world. You have hit the nail on the head there. These are people who never face up to what they have done.
All the best to you with this my friend
Gaylene
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Very beautiful piece that you have penned here.
Thank you for your entry in my contest.
I appreciate it and wish you the best
of luck with it!
Jeremy0826
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