The gardenar stood at the garden gate,
A primrose in his hand;
He saw a lovely girl come by,
Slim as a willow and.
'O lady, can you fancy me,
And will you share my life?
All my Garden flowers are yours,
If you will be my wife.
'The white lily will be your shirt
It suits your body best;
With cornflowers in your hair,
A red rose on your breast.
Your gloves will be the marigold,
Glittering on your hand;
Your dress will be the sweet-william
That grows upon the bank.'
"young man, I cannot be your wife;
I fear it will not do.
Although you care for me,' she said
' I cannot care for you.
'As you've provided clothes for me
Among the summer flowers,
So I'll provide some clothes for you
Among the winter showers.
'The fallen snow will be your shirt,
It suits your body best;
Your head will be wound with the eastern wind,
With the cold rain on your breast.
'Your boots will be of the seaweed
That drifts upon the tide;
Your horse will be the white wave -
Leap on, Young man, and ride!
A contest entry
- Write a Song! by Natelystious.
450 points, ended May 10, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All My Comment Points Will Go Toward The End Prize -- All Poems Allowed!!! ♥ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
800 points, ended May 18, 2007, 141 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
neat!!
hiya!!
i really like this one.. the inlaid story within, the rhymes and the flow was all good! i love the way you point out the various summer flowers, and how the gardener wants to clothe his love with it.. lol.. talk about obsession..
but it is all he has, and he wants to share his love of flowers with the lady he loves. 
though it's sad that she's turned out to be cold.
almost like the winter element whose heart has frozen to ice. sad the warm flowers cant melt her. 
i feel that the ending seems to be kinda abrupt. maybe you could add a last stanza with the gardener's reaction and how his love leaves him? kinda like a conclusion?
well, it's up to you of course.
on the whole, quite sensual with a spark of biting contrast. neat!!


