I started my day
by trying to dust the ink dots
from the page,
the ones my mulling ball-point
abandoned last night,
and the same ones I’ll continue
to make constellations from,
in hope a word or two
paints itself across the page,
as my pen traces a dot-to-dot...
Author notes
I hope this is what you wanted.
8) Boredom
In a list
A contest entry
- Perfect 10!!! by second-born.
500 points, ended May 3, 2007, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
ABSENT MUSE!!!
One has much to say but the words do not come easily, time drags and the right words are still not there.
Wonderful write! 
-
I like short poems, Sometimes they ring truer than drawn out ones. I love the imagery of ink as stars, creating consellations. It left me with some wonderful imagery.
Keep writing.
-
Short, sweet..
Very sweet. I find this very pretty for being such a short piece. I like.
-
you certainly did not bore me with your poem!!! i think the topic that you've chosen is harder than everybody else because it's not really something that we would like to exert effort into it-even myself would have a hard time thinking of a poem that would be a perfect description of boredom...thank you for your great poem! goodluck!
-
I like the metaphor you used to go with boredom. This explains my writers black perfectly, for that is what I do almost, draw lines on paper until something comes to mind. This is nice, good luck in the contest!
S~R
-
it is inspirational...i love that you don't use the usual emotions to convey a message...its like you know that not everyone is all emo all the time....i hope you keep it up...you are very original...
-
eh
This is simply wonderful! What a beauty you have created - the fact that you're hoping the words will paint theirselves while your tracing the dots on your paper...
stunning poetry!
-
For such a short poem, you painted a very good picture. The ten-line structure really adds to the poem, it doesn't feel like the poem was forced into the guidelines. Your constellation metaphor was...well, stellar. I'm sure you will do well in the contest you're entered in!
-
This is a definate 10, the thought of constellations, dot-to-dot, and thoughts that continue the next day-all what a good poet does, and what you have accomplished.
-
paints itself across the page,
as my pen traces a dot-to-dot...
You are a true poet and very sensitive words you are portraying ...I love the impact and the structure alonwith the immagery you have painted here...This is just magical write revealing something very special but very simple journey of the words ..welldone.. -
I really liked this poem.
I had to smile when I read
your author notes (boredom)...
The poem is a perfect 10 in
my book. Good luck
Love, Lane -
Strange how I find your poem just when i have the worst case of writers block ever!
This speaks volumes to me that maybe the emptiness in my mind won't last forever.
I can't find much to fault here except that (I think anyway) that the flow is interupted here due to the period:
"abandoned last night.
And the same ones I’ll continue"
Maybe replace the period with a comma and lower case 'a' in and.
Just a thought. I might be wrong. I often am!
Well done!
~Corvidae
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
