Solitude is sheet music
written as calligraphic images
beautifully penned
plainly onto black and white.
Fingers replay frets
and frets play games on fingers
cleverly spoken
in high notes and low chords.
Sweet melodies just as cherished
as the breath of life--
desirably mixed with notes
resounding in my ear's drum.
Cherry-finish flare adds
more clarity to my dreams--
echoing in the far off walls
inside my memory.
Filed away so gingerly
behind closed doors and open eyes
will that sweet music flow
endlessly rewarding.
Author notes
I love music.
In a list
A contest entry
- Un-Rhyming Poem by SandraMVeinot.
350 points, ended May 14, 2007, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PROVE YOU'RE WORTHY OF MY POINTS by EmeraldDaze.
480 points, ended June 5, 2007, 60 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
=]
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Ahhh...Music is amazing isn't it? But then, music is poetry set to a tune, so poetry is just as amazing. I love this poem. Thank you for entering my contest.
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Metrically "calligraphic"--quite lovely--with musical imagery to accompany musical lines. One suggestion only: remove all instances of the intensive "so": like "very" it is redundant & unnecessary if the line, image, and/or thought is expressed well. Example from your poem: read the following line WITHOUT "so" and you'll see the difference between the image and an ARGUMENT for the image:
"'so' desirably mixed with notes"
I look forward to reading other poems by you.
~Stanto -
I really like the idea behind the piece. The structure of the poem was clean and symmetrical. The lines weren't indented like crazy and there weren't any useless spaces in between words.
My only complaint is that it seems a little too realistic. The imagery is too grounded and it doesn't really allow the reader to venture into the depths of the piece.
Other than that, this was good piece. You utilized a lot of good wording in the piece. Thank you for the entry. -
I too love music, my father is a classical guitarist and so I hold a special place for such things as this poem. An elegant piece, I love the fact that there is ambiguity. It seems that you are talking about music plain and simple as well as other things, such as solitude and the nature of memory and dreams.
No real criticisms, although personall I would remove the "so" from the last line.
Fine work,
K. F. -
Bandits United
Oh this is beautiful the flow is perfect and the imagery is grand, love the story your love for music is clear just beautiful Congrads on the bronze...
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BANDITS UNITED
Sorry I am late, I really like the intro it brought many images to my mind. I like how you used all of the senses to bring the reader into you're world. It has a timeless quality to it.
Cherry-finish flare adds
more clarity to my dreams--
echoing in the far off walls
inside my memory.
I loved these words very fresh and clean feel to them.
very well done.
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Bandits United!
This is a wonderfully melodic poem which practically sings itself! Great and clever touches which add to the theme ~ I love 'ear's drum', bringing out the musical element as opposed to the rather tone-deaf sounding word 'eardrum'!
Very nice writing ~ very enjoyable, and congratualtions on receiving the Bronze trophy for this. Richly deserved!
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Bandits United!!
Powerful piece penned and what images You bring to the Mind!!
Congratulation on Your trophy win!
Beautifully created~
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Bandits Unite
I loved this write. i love music and listening to the different styles. You penned this well and made us hear beautiful melodies in ouone and thank you for sharing. Well done for you bronze trophy too, well deserved.
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Bandits United
Very nice. Good description. Reminds me a lot of a piece I posted just recently. Good job. Enjoy your spotlight.
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Bandits United
This verse showes well your love and appreation
of music in your life
Wonderfull crafting of words
Rick
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Bandits Unite!
I like this. It sounded rhtymic ev en when it didn't rhyme. I think you captured the essence of what music is. Congrats on your bronze trophy. -
BANDITS UNITED!!
Your passion for music leaked into these lines and helped create a lovely piece. You worked in some great alliteration which helps give the poem great sound as well. Fabulous. Congrats on the trophy as well. >pixxie<
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BANDITS UNITED
Wow, this is fantastic. Beautiful exposition of such difficult subject like music...
"Fingers replay frets
and frets play games on fingers"
My favourite lines... Such creativity is indeed a rare gift. 'M a fan... totally. Glad to have read this. My heart is filled with a joyful sound now... Congrats on the Trophy. Kudos to U >>>
Love, Bob.
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BANDITS UNITED !!
You've written an awesome poem which carries the expression of your love of music. An excellent write :) An I see you won a trophy for it, Congratulations !!
You did a great job writing this heartfelt piece :)
:f Dee
P.S.
I love your background :)
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BANDITS UNITED !!
( "Today’s Poet is: [Sweet Music] "
lol, I was like... who's that?!
Then I saw it was your poem's title... )
This is an absolutely amazing poem, beautiful in expression and with a smooth flow that you don't see very often in non-rhyming poems... Very well done!
I could tell from the poem itself that you love music
Keep up the fantastic work!
Annie
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BANDITS UNITED!
Fun to visit this fine poem that showers images of wonderful music on the reader who smiles with pleasure for the experience!
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Bandits United!
What a beautiful penning! I love music all around, but this is an outstanding write. Truely a classic write that manages to capture the entire feel of the culture. Amazing, indeed!
New bookmarked poem for Burmina!
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Bandits United for Music!
Yes my dear, I can feel you love music deeply and this wa sa superb write as it was the Santana of musical love, the sweetness of the trumpet, the mellow chant of the chello and flitter of the hearts flute. in other words, in Nashville, they'd take their hats off and put them over their heart for a write like this.
JD @ DK
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BANDITS UNITED! This is your day in the spotlight. Enjoy. Sure liked the presentation on this page, the sidebar, the picture and the color used all fit together so well with the great poem you have written here. Can see you like music- great bronze winner. Congrats.
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Bandits United!
Beautifull piece, excellent form and flow. Your language choice was wonderful. This was music to the ears. Excellent work. Hugs, Bunny
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EXCELLENT!!! Bandits United!!!
This is an amazing poem! Wonderfully written. I am a huge music lover myself, so this resonates with me. Excellent word choice & alliteration. I so enjoyed reading this great piece! Congrats on the Bronze trophy, it's a Gold in my book!
Love & Light
Debbera
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Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. As a musician, I really appreciate the thought that went into the writing of this poem. I think that the meter of this poem is right on. As I read this poem, I could actually hear music in my mind.
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Nice! As a music major, I totally support this poem.
(I especially like the ear's drum bit, kudos!)
Good stuff!
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Music to my ears!
Really nice, consistent imagery. I love music as well, and I can so appreciate your poem! This was my favorite stanza:
Fingers replay frets
and frets play games on fingers
so cleverly spoken
in high notes and low chords.
I love the double meaning that can be taken with "frets" as well as the idea of the "frets" having their own effect upon the fingers. My son plays guitar, so this was a very visual stanza for me.
You are so right about the effect of music upon us. Like good poetry, it can carry us away if we will just "close doors" or shut off distraction, and open ourselves to the beauty.
Very nice piece!
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That was also my favorite stanza for the exact same reason. ^__^ Thanks for reading and commenting!
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You love music! It shows! This is fabulous - congrats on the bronze trophy!
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Good subject for a poem indeed, I love music also..I am an artist, a potter, and without music to listen to while working, I would be blank at times, thanks for sharing
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It's invigorating and encouraging to read a piece of poetry that not only holds me in rapt attention but actually draws me into the thoughts, emotions and drama of the scene that plays out within my mind as I read through each line posted here. Thanks for the awesome journey!
♥ Touchof1der
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Beautiful. You definately have a very extensive vocabularily that you used as a tool to pick the perfect words that describe your love for music. Very impressively done. Very gorgeous. I applaud you.
Thanks for your kind words on my poem =)
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Thank you very much & you're welcome.
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This is a very beautiful poem..
and I thank you so much for entering it in my contest...
and I do hope I see you enter another one of my contests soon....
as always; -
Filed away so gingerly
behind closed doors and open eyes
will that sweet music flow
so endlessly rewarding....
It is just a magical verse here bringing a kind of the melodious philosophy of this great life..your words are very fresh and very expressive bringing a kind of the journey where the audience is just speechless by the music behind your concept of this write..Indeed a great write...
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