A tortured soul has lived it's life
Deluded, off it's course
And in the end this tortured soul
Can't justify remorse
So plagued by demons, can't escape
His crazed and blackened mind
Till gears all halt within this soul
With victims left behind
No reaching out for caring hearts
No understanding thought
With vengeful deeds he acts upon
Such tragedy is wrought
For in the end we realize
That in a flock of sheep
A tortured wolf may happen by
'tis for these souls I weep
Author notes
My thoughts on the tragedy at VT
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Been a while since i have happened through the valley of poetry. Life keeps me far to busy from writing and enjoying such lovely work by talented pens such as you.
Liz
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, as always it is appreciated!
Johnny
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I like the
...dynamic simplicity of your words and analogized well! joy
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The melodic rhyme and rhythm can be none other you. The sentiments are expressed in exquisite metaphor fit for the nation who mourns the loss of the innocent.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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very powerful emotions just popping off the page on this. extremely moving. i feel it can be compared to several different situations. as always an awesome talent.
blessings *stomps
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WOW!!
Yet again a beautiful write. I am always so inspired by your poetry. My best friends cousin was going to school there when it happened and you have touched my heart in such a way. Thank you. I sent this poem to her via email. Yet again thank you so much for capturing that. My best of wishes to you.
Silenced
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I'm amazed at how little coverage VT got in light of all the other overdone news recently. That day still haunts me.. those kids that died were the ages of my own sons. I was looking at some of my old poetry and found a delightful comment by you one one of them. Had to check you out again. Thought provoking write.
Red -
Extremely well written. Very thought provoking indeed. You've really captured the essence of the tragedy, without going into gory detail. Very well done.
~ Lee Stone -
Very nicely penned! I certainly could feel the emotions rising off the page!
Although I love the last stanza and how it is phrased, I think that a rewording could perhaps give it a little more strengh. Something along the lines of-
"A tortured wolf may (or might) hide (or lurk, or lie, or settle) nearby"
I just think a line like that might add a deeper tone to the write.
Overall though, great poem!
Burmina -
Good write
Loved the riming scheme...
yet...
i feel that painting a brighter picture of the souls would add sooooo much power to this poem...
i still felt it... -
'tis for these souls I weep
great poem...... Im at awe.
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This is interesting but a little vague. For instance, it seems to me that tortured souls know more about remorse than just about anybody, and I would also say, "AND tragedy is wrought." This is a good line, but you have to realize that one little word can make a lot of difference. Also a little bit more punctuation would help here and there as well to break up the thoughts and let them stand out. The only reason I'm criticizing so much, by the by, is because I see a great deal of good in this poem. I like it, and only mean to help you improve it. Good job! - ocerus
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I felt remorse of some kind while reading your words..something you wish would have happened or not...well written with good meaning , thanks for sharing
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Very good
This had great flow and was a nice read. My favorite part was:
No reaching out for caring hearts
No understanding thought
With vengeful deeds he acts upon
Such tragedy is wrought
That stanza was amazingly deep in such little words. Great job and best of luck in your writing future. -
Good rhythm and rhyme in these lines - flow as well. There will always be those who are different, who are more harm to themselves than others, and who really need our help, but never ask for it. These tortured souls are to be sought out and if possible, reached by others. Liked the way you shared this message in this poem.
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