As we were leaving Hell, I could not but think
That my efforts-- at last!-- had gotten you out.
Then, just we neared the very edge, the very brink:--
I was racked by doubt.
I remembered the past, when you were still living,
How happy our lives entwined seemed to be.
But later you displayed a feat of forgiving
By forgiving me:
I loved my music more than you, I admit it!
And you sat alone amusing yourself all the while.--
Then the sight of your corpse-- I won't forget it:
I saw you smile.
Eurydice! your name is all rhythm and beauty,
Signs any good poet-musician should know.
(As we were leaving Hell, you performed a great duty
By letting go.)
I felt your grip wane, much to my relief,
But how mutual it was (for me) was too much.
I wanted more from this goodbye, this was too brief;--
I longed for your touch.
I turned back, you were gone.-- "What have I wrought?!"
Cried a voice in my mind, perched at a cozy niche,
But was gone, and I smiled as I thought me a thought:
Hell can keep the bitch.
Author notes
BTW, this about Orpheus' descent into Hades, and getting his (dead) wife outta dat mug!
Written July 19th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- [.x.] Twisted Stuff [.x.] by x CheepPurfume.
450 points, ended March 2, 2006, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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great imagination!
At last, someone around here is as weird as me. lol. You took a great story, and made it better. You certainly had me captured....thankfully in a better place than hell, but captured all the same. It is good to see the humor in the darker things of life....even death.
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lol
Oh yes, I liked this one. I like the take you had on Orpheus....and I often wonder, what the hell was he thinking? Whiny bitch indeed. -
Bravo
Twisted indeed - both subject and ending
Great Work. I too am a great fan of shifting perspective
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"But later you displayed a feat of forgiving
By forgiving me:" compassionate feelings that support a willingness to forgive is a great form to cure the soul."you performed a great duty
By letting go.) " is not very easy to let go as hummas are very greedy and stubern and we do not understand the deaths, we cry and we have to hope of the heavenly after life, I just love your poem is very great, I could write a thousands of words, but am worry I might take point from you, very wonderful poem.
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LOL
Love your take on this. Its great to see all the different ways myths can be interpreted, and how it can be perceived different from each viewpoint.
This was fun to read.
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The last line was some line. Very funny!! I guess I am not the only one who thought so. Thanks for sharing your poem with us.
Great Job
Chrissy
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I liked this but i didn't find it laugh funny as such although it did bring a smile to my face (hard to do that ya know!). It's a great write though!!! Very deep
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Nice write...different...with a surprise ending..thanks for sharing
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Lol i liked this one hehe i LOVE the ending it came outa no where hahaha hmm..Love the title got me thinking.. How can you just leave hell?? hmm hehe.. well i was surprised
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Hahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahahahahh. Very funny, i couldn't tell it was a myth until i thought about it, though. I mean i had heard the myth before but that was a long time ago and i nearly forgot about it. Any way good twist, and i like that, especially since i love myths. I hope you get a chance to read some of my poems as i had read yours, it would be muc appreciated. Thanx and blessed be.
Tiphanie -
I like a twist on a myth. But the last line was cold! Coldness in hell. Very erudite stuff, for a funny poem, and I totally respect that. I love the title and first line....Jealous of it.
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Very cool..not sure what the laughter up thre is about..perhaps the last line...and yet, I am interested in mythology and such, so this kept my interest. Very well done.
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahah
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Great rhyming scheme, the ending really surprised me actually, during the poem you seemed to want to keep her, especially in the second last paragraph. I like surprises! You should read one of my poems, I think it's "To daddy".
Keep up the good work!
Sam
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