Weeping on murky shoulders;
curled like a lock flowing softly,
wiping away spoiled words of wisdom.
Auditory language giggles,
as I sob in self pity
for my trampled existence.
And all the while hoping for reasons
to twist into shapes of familiarity
or proverbial dreams.
An acceptance of so many wrongs,
like sour vinegar waiting for a recipe
lay just outside my mind, untouchable.
Yet still on my mission,
I endure and drift among tempest clouds
dividing the light from darkness.
Author notes
Title: Dividing Light
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
I came looking for free verse.
and got an education.
This is a beautiful piece of writing. The similes you employ:
"curled like a lock flowing softly"
and
"like sour vinegar waiting for a recipe"
are deftly crafted.
We have no choice but to endure, as your poetry is witness. Very true, and a very enjoyable, read.
-
the smooth flow of words makes a journey thro' life....beautiful expressions..
-
An enchanting poem , oh my! the last line is wonderful "dividing the light from darkness." yes indeed you truly do...
. Beautifully done with softness and class.
-
Ooh, beautiful. There's such soft imagery here, and it was a wonderful take on the title.
-
This has lovely imagery.
'An acceptance of so many wrongs,
like sour vinegar waiting for a recipe'
This line is so vibrant! Sour vinegar, so pungent like bile welling up inside.
I also love:
'I sob in self pity
for my trampled existence'
Sometimes we trample our own existence, sometimes it's others that do it but either way the pain is deep.
Wonderful!
(How come I liked all your featured poems? Don't you have any duff ones at all?)
-
wow i like this peom alot
your a great writer -
-
Thanks
-
-
I feel like my soul is trampled some times
Excellent poem
-
-
Thank you very much
-
-
Your welcome
-
-
-
I love the opening of this poem, it has great imagery and fantastic wording.. such deep sorrow.. I just love these lines...
"And all the while I hope for reasons
to twist into a shape of familiarity
or proverbial dreams.
An acceptance of so many wrongs "
this is very beautiful... The ending is great, I love poems that end well and this certainly does.. well done..
thank you for entering my contest and good luck
peace and light always -
ohhh this is beautiful i love it well done xxxx
-
sorry, i spelled excited wrong, lol
-
WOOOWWW!!!
this is really good! i love it, and your use of words is amazing! its very good! thanx for commenting on my poem! ur the first one so i was EXITED!!! =) thanks again, and like i said, i really love ur poem!
-
i like the imagery in this. you really didn't usee the expected theme of good versus evil until the last line... which i like. thank you.
well done and good luck -
Great write and imagery! This is good!
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
