I miss him...it's that simple.
I miss him to a depth I cannot fathom
And to a height the highest steeples aspire to reach.
He was my friend.
He crafted my cares into irrelevance.
He mesmerized me.
He saw me as I was...and he didn't mind.
He disclosed his secrets in quiet moments, his awfulness...his solitude in company.
He held my hand and never asked more.
We ate takeaways on park benches, built castles and dreams by waterfalls.
We went for walks and finished conversations miles from home.
We carried each other when others feared the weight
And laid the branches that softened each others paths.
He was my mountain and my summer afternoon.
He was my stargazing nights and my apple-scrumping days.
He is my only truth...my only lie.
We never spoke the words.
Author notes
One of my few forays into free verse, not a concept I'm all that familiar with but enjoy the freedom of.
Thanks for reading.
A contest entry
- Original Tears by I-Am-Custard.
600 points, ended April 22, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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'He carved my name on a bridge...' That's a cliche, I know you added it to make it a personal touch, but that idea is surprisingly over-used, especially when compared to the ideas in the 4th stanza.
The last line is love,y subtle but drenched with disappointment and regret.
Nice, thank you for entering. -
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I have to agree with you about that line. It may be true but not suitable for the poem, so have had a little re-write of that one and another. Many thanks for the honourable mention and useful comments.
Regards
Sloth
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wow
that's such a great poem and if you had what was there you're so lucky ---even if it may be gone now, you still had such great things an that's what matters. I rly rly love it. amazingly cool job
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Thank you so much for your kind comments. As I noted, I rarely attempt free verse as I love rhyme and rhythmn but was discussing free verse with another user and had this person on my mind...this is what came out of me in 20 mins. Maybe I'll have another go soon...Thanks and regards.
Sloth
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