When one thinks of AP Families
The thing they mostly lack
Is an Uncle Fester figure
Skulking darkly at the back.
Someone to scare small nephews
And to tell the dirty jokes
To shock the boring maiden aunts
And hand out drinks and smokes.
At weddings and at funerals
I’ll always play my part
And at the climax of the speech
Let rip a noisy fart.
I’ll always be quite seedy
You’ll be ashamed of me
And cringe if you should ever have
To take me out for tea.
So let me be your uncle
The one you can disown
The one (you can tell all your friends)
You wish you'd never known.
Author notes
As usual, a contest poem that gets finished after the contest (http://allpoetry.com/contest/2343944) is closed.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I enjoyed this but I am uncertain who Uncle Fester is. But a farting uncle is clearly a bonus for any child. I used to fart a lot at school.
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LOL!
I want an Uncle Fester!
Lilac Moon
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LOLOLOL
I'm still giggling.
AP Family, wtf?
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This is a fantasticly funny poem!! I loved it, its such a shame the contest closed before you could enter it. Having discussed matters in a most serious manner with Paul and Bethany, we have decided that we would love to invite you to be our AP uncle anyway, seeing as how you seem so very qualified for the post (And the fact Beth is sure you will teach her rude jokes
)
If you still wanna be our uncle, message me and we will add you to our Family straight away!!!
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Can I be the auntie??!! Loved this. You could be my Llewellyn Sprott to a tee. xx debs
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