You interrupt my emptiness,
precious tiny bean unfurling---
Vast uncurling sweet pea vine,
dig your core in far
and sip me clear to parched
Gator baby,
soft white dinosaur in your shell,
weighty as rocks and water---
Globular, welcome syndrome,
already you have begun to suckle my bones
spotless.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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so much
so much in so little. rattles the brain, transports the soul. if anyone out there asked me how it feels to love my children, i would point them to this poem. superb!
~marcus
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I have read this poem several times Ruby and I get more from it each time. Keep up the wonderful writing.
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Thanks so much for stopping back by. I appreciate you!
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The reader has read and re read this interesting piece of poetry,with it's creative descriptions it speaks to the reader of something precious being unearthed and fulfilling an intense need,especially liked the "welcome syndrome" mmmm food for thought indeed,yum yum.
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This is the first poem I've read of yours and it's amazing.
I think if I asked for a vivid poem this would be a big, fat gold star winning answer! Really, so much in so few words. It's brilliant.
And such an original way of talking about that charming little parasite in your body.
I can't say anymore I'm already scurrying off to read more.
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Excellent.
Oh Ruby!
This is the first poem i have read of your's,
have to say i like what i read.
This poem is ouzing of love and expression of that.
It is metaphorically brilliant and the volcabulary
so fitting to the subjet.
I loved how you went through different life cycles
of creatures and plants, all of Mother natures requirement to life.
Great work, keep the pen poised!
Slan agus gra.
Dolores xx
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Wow. This is the first poem of yours that I've read, but it's amazing. I was suggested to look at your stuff by another ap poet that I greatly respect, and I am not disappointed.
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Thanks, architect. I havent been very prolific in the poem department lately, so I really appreciate your stopping by. Maybe I'll have a little more in a week or so.
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Oddly ... I see, time.. evolution perhaps, primeval seas, and the endless cycle of birth in Spring, in plants, in humans, in cells.. all so very fragile when you consider the quick final death of the greatest creatures to wander this earth..
We as humans.. speaking in generalities seem to forget the food chain, and the little bubble it lives in..
If I had to.. find an abstraction for this, it would be life
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Thanks, AFM, for your insight into this poem. I love the way you made all the right connections...my connection to life is deeper right now...this is my way of saying: I'm pregnant! And couldnt be any happier about it. I'm not with the daddy anymore, but Sprout and I have the universe.
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Very good, you put a lot of thought into this poem, and it shows. Keep Writing!
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thank you
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This was in a good story line keep up the good write
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thank you
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this poem leaves a lot left to think about, as if it itself were a sprout. To begin, one must ask themself, "what is the connection betweem the two images?" While i cannot be sure about your intentions, i can observe the parellel of new life, but i'm not sure if the narritive voice is the same between stanzas. I get the last two lines of the "sprout" stanza, but i don't understand the lines "already you have begun to suckle my bones //spotless."
Anyways. I must say i love the word choice, and i hope you keep up the good work.
cheers!
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short and sweet. I enjoy this, a lot. The seeming change of subject between the two stanzas is intriguing, especially when one realizes that there IS no change. A very good write.
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Well Written
Wow! this is very good, I love the opening "You interrupt my emptiness,precious tiny bean unfurling" this was a brilliant line. I love the uniqueness of this poem it really stands out from the rest. Excellent poem.
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thank you muddy, glad it had you philosophizing...
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Thats alright..u hav a talent to make your words and twist them..keep writting these
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thanks so much emo
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excellent
I like the comparison of the two...as both are vulnerable in their states, and yet you leave me with this profound feel of being related to both.
I had a professor in college that said we could have evolved from lizards more easily than apes...you know he may be right. See what you've done to me...lol
Always a pleasure to read
peace and hugs
Muddy
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mmm..confusing but easy..thinkable took a while-emotional love meets my eye
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thank you!
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thank you!
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Opening Line
I like the opening lines, "You interrupt my emptiness, tiny bean unfurling". Life--animal, human and plant--have a way of doing this. Nice, concise work. -
i hardly ever comment on your poetry because it's so far superior and i feel what can i say to tell you it's brilliant.
~Helen
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