This night,
I'm broken
From every shattered bone
that should protect me from the inside
This depression,
is killing me
and this knife to my neck
is my excuse
Maybe light a candle
but don't say a prayer for me
Feel alone
I'm gone
only cause you left me
I wanna squeeze the suicidal release
from every orifice from each of my pores
I feel sick
I feel ill
and ill-fated
that I'm so oblivious
to what I've just said
I'm against all that I've made up (myself)
It tears me up.
Threw my porn in the trash and puked
all over it
to show my disgust for it;
to show that I'm stronger than that
but it seems not enough to
let you go
You know
I'm not loved
you know I'm not..
I've got a feeling in my gut now fills me
With so much hope
But instead I said fuck it I'm fine
Dine and dashed
Snagged a cigarette
hoping that it would calm me, soothe me....
But instead it was put out on my arm
the feeling of it,
the stench of burning flesh
didnt seem much of an alleviation as previously thought
I was never the one to go back to self-harm
but it seems you made it possible.
"Give it to me,
give me all."
It's never been me
to want this much from you
cause I need it right now
let me see where your heart resides
or write me off
cause I'd rather starve now
I'll rip my heart out
it's worth my time
whatever that means
You know
I hate life
you know I do....
Living is not living;
not without you
Its more like suffering beyond control.
My inclination...
I'm lying to myself
and this scar is my excuse
Fuck it I'm (not) fine
Causitc,
Staring out my window
with a wash cloth over my mouth
so I can't wish upon a star
For the night
is a deceiver and a liar
A eidolon, a dream
for the hopeless
So for the record
Let me be,
you've done all you can do
took my hurt
took my pain
took.... my life
and thats my excuse...
for losing you.
Author notes
#6
A contest entry
- Honey its +beautiful+ like a m e n t a l illness by AshliiAsphyxiation.
600 points, ended April 26, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is just breathtakingly beautiful!! WONDERFUL WRITE!! I love all of your poems so far, they rock and I can relate to alot of them!! Keep up the great work!! NOW I HAVE A NEW POETRY ADDICTION!! I'm addicted to alot of people's poems and now I'm addicted to yours. Lol. SO, keep writing!! =]
♥ Lady Gaia ♥
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ZOMG
love this one
AWESOME
heh
i like the way that the used lyrics fit in =]
good luck!
=]
♥ -
i like this but theres just one thing that bugs me. " and this daggers my excuse" is a lyric from a song by the used. ive seen someone copy song lyrics b4 and it bothers me when ppl do that. im not sayin u got it from the song at all. mayb uve heard it mayb u havent. but if u can change it i would if i were u. all in all though a very good write. i couldnt stop myself from readin.
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Absolutly georgeous,You are such an amazing writer I dont know how you do it...
*Living is not living,not without you,its more like suffering beyond control, my inclination...*
You are so amazing its wonderful.
love you<3
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very good, i love this poem
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