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Seize the day

Cast
your fear
to one side
as you journey
~~~~~~
on the road of life.
Throw away all of your pain.
Release the burden and strain.
See each dawn as a
~~~~~~
new turning point.
Seize each day
with both
hands.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • -Ink Artist-
    April 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Claire, congrats on the HM for this piece! It's a lovely write with near perfect presentation. This form was fun to experiment with, wasn't it?! Great work, my dearest niece!


    ~Lori


  • Arkbear gold member
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    This is getting touch ~

    A very beautiful presentation ~

     

    A lovely structured Arkquain ~

     

    If this were a Haiku' contest, you

    would have earned points for it

    being aesthetically perfect ....

    ....but it's not...so.... ( .4 pts. off for structure alignment )

     

    I can tell you took a lot of time to place your

     words to structure this Arkquain in perfect

    form....but the middle, 2nd stanza could have been

    tweeked a bit to make it like the entry,

    *Heartfelt*....*Ink Art*, by Ink Artist 

    did the same thing as you ~

     

    Just keep trying..pleeez?

    ~

     

    The way you allowed this to flow from one

    stanza to the next is delicious ~

     

    A majestic message within this write as well ~

     

    Another brilliant piece to ponder ~

     

    The best to you in this contest ~

     

    Bear ~

     

     


  • SarahD
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are good at this aren't you!! I love the way that this poem works well as a whole, but also works equally as well in the three parts it's displayed in! Great form and you seem to have mastered it - more please!!!!
    Tough Cookie


  • hopelessxromantic
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way that this poem is shaped.. its really different i like it. It has such a meaningful, uplifting message. I absolutely love the lines "Throw away all of your pain./Release the burden and strain.". Great poem


  • grannyeri gold member
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Really like this new form and pleased that you are writing such a lovely entry. Enjoyed the thoughts behind this poem. Liked the title for this write too.


  • Arkbear gold member
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you so much for this Entry ~

    Thank you so much for your entry ~

    I will review your entry for certain criteria

    expected from this contest ~

    If you do not hear back from me

    within 12 hours of the contest deadline,

    you should have nothing to worry

    about as long as  EVERYTHING

    in the RULES have been followed ~

    I will review syllable count just once,

    AND, if there is/are any line/s missing a syllable/s,

    I will let you know only ONCE!

     

    I am looking forward to reviewing your entry ~

    However, Judging will NOT take place until

    closing of this contest, therefore,

    I will TRY not to read the Theme

    or Storyline until that time, BUT,

     sometimes I break my own rules

    and take a peek ~

     

    The best of luck to you in this contest!

     

    Sincerely,

    Bear ~

     


  • RhiannonMari
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful! the diamond look with this poem and the breaks inbetween. and the message itself... so beautifully put. i love it, big sis! *huggers*


  • Twins 4 me
    April 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great write and message! Good luck in the contest!

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