"I feel like i've always known you.."
She looked into the reflection,
Perfection is still too far away.
Those pills she took an hour ago,
Leave her in a speed induced daze.
The world points out imperfections,
And slam them into your face.
They turn you down[Kick you out]
And get all up in your space.
It's all to get a little money,
[It was never easy to find]
And it's all to get a little closure,
[Can't be left behind]
And that little money she recieves,
Buy her anything she surely needs.
A craving here
[Another addiction there]
[She's shooting up on speed]
"You leave me speechless[Breathless]..."
Just another of society's disasters,
And another of society's worst nightmares.
They're remarks weigh on your shoulders,
Can't help but feel they're unneeded stares.
The control is all she has left,
Her body
[Her mind]
And her soul were sold.
It's all just another mental illness,
Or so she has been told.
She's sorry for being another disaster,
On this world where being yourself isn't good enough.
So she act's like everyone's whore,
For the men who like it rough.
It doesn't help her fragile mind,
And it doesn't help her body so frail.
But what does society care about..
A
Girl
Who
Sadly
Failed.
"I can't help but surrender my everything to you.."
Author notes
Um. written for the contest.
#6
Hope it's what you wanted.♥
I used lines from The Veronicas-Speechless
A contest entry
- Honey its +beautiful+ like a m e n t a l illness by AshliiAsphyxiation.
600 points, ended April 26, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What has this world come to? by Degausser.
800 points, ended May 18, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let's see all that you can give! :) by golden-red.
450 points, ended May 8, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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omg i love it
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wow
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I kept opening up this link and then having to get off the computer everytime I tried to read this poem, so I'm glad I finally got the chance to read it. I like the way you split up some of the lines for emphasis. I like the fact that you capture the picture of society as a whole falling apart, ad also on the character in the poem getting worse and worse. I like it alot, and as I said, I'm glad I fianlly had the chance t read it. Thank you for entering my contest, and I wish the best of luck to you.
-Philly F -
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Thanx for your comment,
And good luck in judging the contest.
Cazza
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u knw u dnt need it. u just think u do. baby i dnt wnt u goin in tha foot steps of me.
altho u alrede hav, u cnt go thro it agen.
ily. ♥
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In an attempt to understand my kids better, I have been read a lot of poems by young artists, and have to admit the talent that you display is awsome...I have been reading Tommy for a while now, and I'm sure I will be back to read you over and over as well...damn this comment has made me sound really old...lmao
cathy
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tanx
u dont sound rele old!! and its always gud 2 try and understand wat ur kids r doing, cud b doing..
*worries bout wat my kids will be doing wen theyre 16*
tanx agen 4 ur comment..
Cazza
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Very exceptional writing Very sensitive and accurate. I worked with people like that. A sense of purpose is a very personal thing, some achieve it by writing, raising kids, etc. When you're stuck with status and decisions, you end up precisely with what you are defending.. a life of obligations but no inner peace. And you have no control over your own destiny and a sense of significance as a human being. That put you in the survival mode and the addiction cycles. I am inspired by what you wrote a great deal. Addictions are not mental illnesses because they are chemical imbalances. Personal survival in life-and-death may be at stake but emotional stability, feelings of worthiness and happiness along with contentment are linked to having a feeling of value, meaning and purpose in own life. Art helps a great deal to connect within. My husband is calling have to go! Regards.
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wow hon.. this is wonderful!!
thanks for entering and good luck -
wonderfully written!!
"She's sorry for being another disaster,
On this world where being yourself isn't good enough.
So she act's like everyone's whore,
For the men who like it rough."
i loved the way you wrote this part.
i felt alot of sadness and despaire in this one. i hope you're alright...
keep writting, much love
XoXoXoX
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I'm alright,
Just memories this time.
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"And that little money she recieves,
Buy her anything she surely needs.
A craving here[Another addiction there]
[She's shooting up on speed]"
that waws awesome. great job babe!!!!!!!!
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enjoyed this, strong piece, especially liked the inclusion of the lines in brackets, i thought these worked well.. particularly as they were (bracketed). good poem.
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This is fricken awesome!! WOOT WOOT!!! Brilliant. You're amazing with writing!!! wow. I wanna chose a fav part, but its all good. BUT:
She's sorry for being another disaster,
On this world where being yourself isn't good enough.
So she act's like everyone's whore,
For the men who like it rough.
I have to say dat one ^^
LUB U!!!
Tommy-x-Tragedy
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