The Christmas I Never Had

I have always dreamt of
The Christmas I never had

Every Christmas
I would put on my red and blue gloves
That warms my trembling hands
From the cold outside
I put on my overcoat
That smelled like coffee in
The morning

Every Christmas
I would walk out of my door
Slamming it tight
So that the advent hanging on it
Would bounce steadily
I would jump on my new red bike
That my mother bought for me
Last night--Christmas Eve

Every Christmas
I would bike pass
My friends in the neighborhood
Throwing white snowballs
At each other
I would laugh and smile
With such joy showing
Onto my youthful face

Every Christmas
I would always look at my new watch
Scolding myself for always being
Late for the choir performance
I would always end up late
And would see people smiling
As I sing. They would love me!

But
When I entered the hall,
Where we used to sing,
It was empty
My parents weren't there
To smile and cheer on me
My teachers weren't there
To congratulate me
And my friends weren't there
To be with me

Then
I walked back home
Without my new red bike
And I passed an empty neighborhood
With strangers all around
I never did like how
They looked at me

And
I opened the door of my house
There was no advent
My smile and laughter
Drifted away with the
Ice cold wind
That was piercing me
To my bones

My bare body shivers
As I entered the house
I took off my dirty brown gloves
And wiped the ice
Off my face
I went back to my bed
On the second floor
And reminded myself

That
I have always dreamt
Of the Christmas I never had