A clacking sound on my window,
What it is, I wish I could know.
From deep within a house
Filled with a lot of things,
I really don't happen to know
Why the telephone rings
At this time of night.
It sometimes gives me a fright.
I don't know why.
It's 2:00 am at night,
I turn over to flick on the light.
I wish I could go ahead and get up,
But at this time, a teen can't get up.
A shattering sound comes from my window
Now, a man of twenty runs toward my bed.
I get up as fast as I can
I run as fast as possible to my kitchen
Where all my knifes are,
and pick up a blade, to defend myself with.
The man runs down the stairs and threatens me,
While I stab the knife in his knee,
I then get to the phone and call the cops,
Good thing this guy didn't have a gun,
Otherwise, it would have been stupid to run.
He creeps over to me
With the knife in his knee.
I punch him in the mouth
and he falls to the floor.
I wait about an hour more.
People in this town are slow as hell,
Believe me, I should know this well.
I am a girl, while this asshole was a boy
Guess what, people?
I knocked his ass on the floor.
Author notes
I read your profile and noticed that it says that you don't write anything fake. I wrote this and it's fake, so I hope you like it, anyway, whether or not it's fake. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. No clacking on windows, or anything else like that, involving robberies or anything. I don't know of any criminal who would be desperate enough to rob my house, anyway.
I am also a male, and this is in the perspective of a female.
A contest entry
- AnYtHiNg by smntha..
550 points, ended May 5, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Anything
Comments
-
This was a cool idea, but needs a lot of work in the execution. 2am at night is redundant. The rhyme seems very forced, especially "I really don't happen to know." and the teen waking up part, and the ending is straight-up prose. I recommend doing it freer--less structure, maybe free verse all together, with more powerful words to make it emotional, like, instead of "I get up as fast as I can" say "I spring to my feet" or I am jolted awake, or leap out of bed, and as fast as possible could just as easily be sprint, or bolt, or flew... I will say I liked the "clacking at my window" bit, it made me think of trains, but was cool. And, as a girl, I have always thought that if i were being attacked, I would TOTALLY stab the guy in the leg. Maybe not the knee, but that muscle inside the thigh. Or slash at a hamstring. (Yeah, I was a really weird kid.) Keep up the writing it's getting a lot better. Good luck! --Shannon
-
This definently kinda creeped me out! But still, it was more a good story than a poem. But it was still interesting. Good luck!!!
Adding your comment:
