the blue screen flickers
my husband is on the couch
what an awful smell
Author notes
In traditional Japanese, the haiku was often written in one long string, from top to bottom, using 17 onji (sound-symbols); modern English haiku is written in three lines with syllable counts at ( 5-7-5 )
Haiku dose not have a title other than the first line as the use of a title gives an unfair additional image in competition.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is more of a senryu as it is about humal activities, not nature in it's pure context. Liked the images this created - gives one a chuckle.
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I can see this.You kept the 5-7-5 Sound sleep Tv on and the guy is stinky. Been there,
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wow that was good! it made me laugh! an excellent written haiku! great job!!!!! my favorite line of the piece was definitely the way you ended it "what an awful smell" that was sooo funny! thank you sooooooooo much for entering! excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!
-Steve- -
Oh My!!
I could not help but chuckle with this Haiku!!
Loved it!!
Beautifully expressed~~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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lmao
how funny!
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Good write This was quite funny. I'm going to have to change that in my haiku now- thanks for the tip Good luck in the contest
Pozo
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Hmmmmmm. It is definitely a haiku! The syllable count is right. Good job. Three bunnies.
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Yes, I was concerned that the image might be over a mans' head. Do you think it's too deep?
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Well... how can a smell from a man on a couch watching a flickering screen snoring away be bad? It doesn't make sense... Did you spill tea before he sat down?
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