When My Wings Fail Me

I haven't felt so cold on this night

There are wounds on my very scars
And scratches deeply cut in my heart
My hair strands are frightened
And my eyes penetrate through darkness

I haven't felt so alone on this night

My mother's embrace left me as a child
Abandoned me naming me a 'young adult'
I was on my own since I was ten
Blindly walking with no mother for a guide

I haven't felt so blind

Isn't God my guide when I am blind?
Isn't God my embrace when I am cold?
Yet He hasn't come,
I suppose He never did

I haven't felt so frightened

Frightened that I will never know the answers
God won't tell me, He abandoned me!
Frightened that my blindness will walk me to a wall
A dead-end of my life
And there will be nothing else

Nothing else to live for

I haven't felt so wrong

I'll never know the right answers
That will give me sight
Pick me up when I'm cripple
Catch me when my wings fail me
Hold me when there is nothing but cold

I need to be reassured
I need to be held

The answers are beyond an unreturnable door
And I don't intend to return
Who needs to know the answers to my questions?
No one but me

For the answers I yearn for are of no concern of others
They aren't about the world
They aren't about history or religion
Nor about life and death

They are about love
Love that only I could not understand
The lack of love that I do understand
Those are the answers I yearn for

Yes,
I decided,
I'll step through that door
And I'll leave this cold, dark world
Into a world where I can see
And where I am warm

And where my wings shall never fail me
Forever I will soar

I haven't felt so safe on this day