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waving goodbye with a smile





i put on my mona lisa

my mouth barely curving
past my church smile
because it was so hard
to breath in the five months
turning into two years


i tossed my options
back and forth
palm to palm
like a mass of clay
i would mold into perfection

as rotating blades and engines
or ships and waves
or whatever the hell was taking you

prickled the hairs on my neck
with electronic noise

and they raised with expectation
hoping a goodbye kiss

wouldn't be our last






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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Dobar Dan
    March 26, 2008

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    Hello Surley

    I came here to return the favor - I am a rhymer so although this poem lacks rhyme it flows beautifully - I am getting to like free verse - the story content is well framed and understandable - keep on keeping on - Bless God - Joe - (Dobar Dan)


  • koppaspider
    April 20, 2007

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    Good indeed.

    Shirley,
    I so did enjoy reading this poem. Conveyed such a sense of hope and desperation at the same time. Is that what you wanted the reader to feel? I'm just making a suggestion here, and should only be taken as such. Grammar is a good thing to use in poetry. Capital letters for the beginning of a sentence, commas during the break of a sentence, and periods at the end of a sentence. I believe your title works beautifully into your poem. Good job. Would you mind writing me a poem? :-P
    Love You,
    WK

    • SurelyWritten
      April 20, 2007
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      write you a poem? hmmm, yea i think i could do that... whether or not it will be any good is another question.. and i'll even use proper grammar.

      love you-

  • Viva La Vie Boheme
    April 20, 2007

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    This is terribly sad, and makes me think of a lot of things... but it's great to see some Shirley talent, y'know, I've missed you This is yet another brilliant poem!

  • FindingFate
    April 20, 2007

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    Talented you are. Missed greatly, you are. Loved abundently, you are. By me...of course and many others.


  • James R
    April 20, 2007

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    ohhh my darlin wife do have any idea how proud i am to have such a talent as you for my bride. Brilliant write as always.


  • Melodies gold member
    April 20, 2007

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    I am awestruck by your talent...

    Do you know how talented you are? This is a splendid poem with such smart and loving images. I am always amazed when I read your poetry and think how proud I am of you and wonder what you will be writing when you're my age.

1 - 7 of 7