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D R E S S .to. ----->{kill}

Good morning, it's [me]
His face looks so beautiful in the light
Daddy told me to l e a v e
but my bursting heart wanted [MORE]

[I can't cry, I C A N ' T cry]


Baby, i'm f|a|d|i|n|g into a secret abyss
with high heels && laced up napkins
where kisses go to d i e
&& promises dress to {kill}


[Collide with me] && let's pretend

(I was never yours for the night)

white out my eyes && paint my scars
these pilgrim hands can't fit yours [anymore]

d
r
  e
  s
    s

      t
      o

        k
          i
          l
            l

my (secrets) that are wrapped up in my broken head
dance the n.i.g.h.t away, we only have so long
my heart aches for your t o u c h

[kiss me, ^sweetheart^]

daddy told me "bitch, you're more than that"
his fingers feel so warm && electrifying
his love feels [everlasting]

t
h
  e
  n

    h
      e

        d
        i
          e
          d

&& he left me with the k.n.i.f.e
my {splattered} heart screaming out in all teenager angst
I felt myself bl(ee)ding, my eyes upon his c o r p s e
I eyed the dagger in front of me, scared && hopeless

[die young && save yourself.]

mumbling words of sour candy story lines
&& white lied princes of late night slumbers
I pushed the [dagger] into my little body





[Romeo, we're only in a Shakespeare story so long.]

Author notes

2. tragic romance in dirty pretty style

romeo and juliet-esque
make my heart brake and earth collapse.

14.Then end will be a result of the domino effect


2) Write a story poem, tell me a tale, it had to have a beginning, middle, and end! These poems are very fun tell a story of a crazy ex-girlfriend, or of the unicorn flying over a moon, whatever!

Option # 4

Enter absolutely anything pree written or fresh!

VERRY IMPORTANT RULE: if you choose this option you must read and comment at lest 2 of my poems (I want more comments guys) leave your screen name and the poems you commented titles in the authors note box so I can check if you did this IF YOU DONT YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED YOU HAVE 2 HOURES TO DO THIS AFTER YOU ENTER THE POEM IN TO THE CONTEST

ANGEL

Blowing kisses in the wind

Her Eyes

screen name: canwepretend

x.one last fix.x

name of play inspired: Romeo && Juliet.
keep [b.r.e.a.t.h.i.n.g] just for [x.me.x]

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • thelovesongwriter
    July 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a great dp write, it's full of angst, anger, & confusion...i liked it. great write & thanks for entering
    -lovesong


  • Nam
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "[Collide with me] && lets pretend"

    "lets" would be "let's" as in "let us pretend".

    The last line seems like an addage, and therefore: isn't needed.

  • RandomPoetGirl
    May 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    DAMN! And to think, I'm out of applauses...Oh well, heres some.APPLAUSE!APPLAUSE!APPLAUSE!!!!


  • Exodus gold member
    May 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ... Holy shit. I am not one to scare easily. But you frighten me babe. Especially with this piece. Something about it really scares the shit out of me. However, I love it to pieces!!! I love how you use Shakespear so well in so many of your pieces. It's wonderful ^_^
    Anyway doll, thanks so much for entering, I ♥la-la-loved♥ it XD


  • over the rainbow--x
    May 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Aww hun, I'm sorry you got the wrong phrase lol I meant 'keep [b.r.e.a.t.h.i.n.g] just for [x.me.x]' but its fine lol Good luck in my contest =]

  • over the rainbow--x
    May 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    '
    && he left me with the k.n.i.f.e
    my {splattered} heart screaming out in all teenager angst
    I felt myself bl(ee)ding, my eyes upon his c o r p s e
    I eyed the dagger in front of me, scared && hopeless

    [die young && save yourself.]

    mumbling words of sour candy story lines
    && white lied princes of late night slumbers
    I pushed the [dagger] into my little body
    [Romeo, we're only in a Shakespeare story so long.] '
    I love that ending^^^ I love romeo && juliet, though could you just go back && puta phrase in your authors notes please, =] great poem && good luck in my contest =] ♥


  • lysdarling
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i xoxo,
    lys


  • inspired torture
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i just couldn't get my eyes of the computer till i realised that this poem has swept me away.... m back to earth now... hehe. u re-wrote again the skakespearian tragedy of ROmeo n Juliet...

    I eyed the dagger in front of me, scared && hopeless

    [die young && save yourself.]

    mumbling words of sour candy story lines
    && white lied princes of late night slumbers
    I pushed the [dagger] into my little body


  • WhatLiesBeneath
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I don't know what else to say with your poetry. It just blows me away! God... I loved the last time. It just finished it off so perfectly and the whole poem had me sitting on the edge of my seat and I could rip my eyes from the computer screen. You have talent. Even if I said that a thousand times I still would be covering how much you have talent. Best of luck in the contests

  • over the rainbow--x
    May 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    '[die young && save yourself.]

    mumbling words of sour candy story lines
    && white lied princes of late night slumbers
    I pushed the [dagger] into my little body





    [Romeo, we're only in a Shakespeare story so long.] '
    love those lines^^^^ love this poem =] but you've missed a phrase from your authors notes, can you please amend this by tomorrow =] thanks, great poem =] ♥


  • AngelDreamer
    May 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a great poem it really is but something about the way its typed throughs the flow off and makes it hard to read thanks for entering and good luck


  • broken-colours
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my contest. I'm trusting you've read the rules, only entered once, and have 0-5 trophies.

    Once again, I absolutely adore this poem. You're extremely talented. Nothing I don't like about this.

    Good luck to you in my contest.


  • FlipperSwitch
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...that is amazing. REALLY inspiring...I loved the dirty-pretty form you used, it added that certain small twist into it, like I could feel the dagger going in. Great job, thank you for your entry and good luck!


  • SarahEatsAirplane
    May 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am speachless. I usually have something to say, but for this one, I seriously don't. I love this. its really good.
    great job...


  • x dont.cry.out x
    May 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    soooooo gooooood x


  • ZzBrokenHopezZ
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    LOL

    I like this poem you have no idea how much! It was so differnt and very much what I was looking for! My favorite part was:

    "my (secrets) that are wrapped up in my broken head
    dance the n.i.g.h.t away, we only have so long
    my heart aches for your t o u c h"

    This poem totally rocked all the way through and thank you for the entry and good luck!


  • Aquamarine.
    April 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow is all i have to say this is a freakin awesome poem i love it


  • keanes
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Yes, a good poem.

    It is interesting to watch the dirty/pretty movement on AP these days. It seems a product of the post-modern, yet retains some sence of poetic independance due, I think, in part to the fact that it is the very young -thus the very best poets - who choose such a style. That being said, this poem (I believe) is the very cream of the dirty/pretty crop. good luck in the contest.

  • broken-colours
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Gorgeous

    Amazing how you made this poem fit for three contests, but besides that.. I adore this, really. Dirty pretty really works for Romeo and Juliet. Excellent write.


  • Blossom
    April 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. It's crazy what one would do for love, great way of showing it.

1 - 20 of 20