the only person i like to lie to is myself.
i repeat things constantly in my mind
until i believe them;;
until they're the truth.
like me telling myself i dont miss him.
i never loved any of them. never ever. nope.
that nobody ever broke me, hit me, used me, abused me.
i made them all up.
i wasnt asking for it.
i didnt deserve this.
i made them all up.
that it doesnt still hurt
that --
i'm beautiful.
i'm beautiful.
i'm beautiful.
i'm beautiful.
i'm shy;; i'm outgoing.
i'm a hardass;;i'm way too sensitive.
i'm extremely childish;;im mature.
i'm really happy;but; i'm also really sad.
i'm a bitch;; i'm the sweetest girl you'll ever meet.
i'm a [walking] contradiction.
everyone that touches me hurts me.
to an extent, everything scares me.
i fall too hard && love too much.
i give & give & give
&& sometimes, just sometimes -- i get [a little] back.
you could never ever love me the way that i love[d] you.
usually
i'm the ripped-ragdoll;
the violated-victim;
the mourning-marionette
the bruised-butterfly pinned under glass
im the ballerina in my snow globe
&& im dancing on ice with a sweet-smile
plastered on my face
just like she does
even though she knows --
she knows her world is going to
fall apart;; turn upside down;;
& spin-so-fast
over&over&over again.
i'll slip through the cracks
&& i know i'll break
but i can always fake it
'&& take it with a smile.'
i'm the girl that draws maps to neverland
on sidewalks in bright blue chalk
the girl that swings on swings && slides on slides
the girl that smokes on her roof when the world is sleeping
counting stars & scars in the faint moonlight
the girl that draws hearts on her faded-blue-jean knees
&& at the corners of her eyes
the girl that writes more than she sleeps, eats, dreams
the girl that'll do just about anything to make you smile
&& do anything for you if she sees you cry
the girl thats still picking up her pieces
&& duct-taping them back together;; hoping to one day
feel complete[ly], perfect[ly], happy
all i want is to love & to love & to love
[&& be loved trulymadlydeeply]
& you can call that crazy
but its okay, cos i know i am
i'm a mess;;
a sweet-catastrophe ;; a fucking calamity
i dont know who did this. them, or me?
&& after all of this
id like to say i know who i am
but in all honesty --
i really don't.
i never did.
&& maybe i never will.
i have no fucking clue.
all i know is that --
i'm beautiful.
i'm beautiful.
i'm beautiful.
i'm beautiful.
X♥x
Author notes
{♥}heart doesn't beat the way it used too
noir eyes
A contest entry
- Spinning Me In Circles[lets put my heart back together] by WishMeAway--x.
700 points, ended September 19, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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the poetry i've read of yours so far never fails to amaze me! amazing work!
-
i fall too hard && love too much.
i give & give & give
&& sometimes, just sometimes -- i get [a little] back
God that's amazing! The thing is I so much feel it is true for someone else... Not for me... But still... -
Simply magnificent. At first, I found it a bit repetitive, then a few stanzas in, I was captivated by your words and swept up into a frenzy of thoughts... colliding to make something unspeakably beautiful. Best of luck to you in the contest you've entered.
-
Loved it, the best for me being the double personality you portray...
i'm shy;; i'm outgoing.
i'm a hardass;;i'm way too sensitive.
i'm extremely childish;;im mature.
i'm really happy;but; i'm also really sad.
i'm a bitch;; i'm the sweetest girl you'll ever meet.
Great! Good luck in the contest! -
"im the ballerina in my snow globe
&& im dancing on ice with a sweet-smile
plastered on my face
just like she does
even though she knows --
she knows her world is going to
fall apart;; turn upside down;;
& spin-so-fast
over&over&over again."
oh my goodness, that image is fucking granddd. it's like burned into my retinas now, and those words are so smoothe and gorgeouss.
"all i want is to love & to love & to love
[&& be loved trulymadlydeeply]
& you can call that crazy
but its okay, cos i know i am
i'm a mess;;
a sweet-catastrophe"
ahhh love it!!
I LOVED the repetition of "i'm beautiful" and the flow of the whole piece was great! It didn't slow down or hit a bump, it was just one sliver of beautiful words and crystal-clear images after the other. fabulous<3 -
"usually
i'm the ripped-ragdoll;
the violated-victim;
the mourning-marionette
the bruised-butterfly pinned under glass"
Baby I'm a sucker for alliteration;;
and you pull it off quite well
"&& after all of this
id like to say i know who i am
but in all honesty --
i really don't."
I think a lot of us have felt that way before.
I wonder a lot about myself;
who am I really? When I shed my outside layer
and let people in, what do they see?
You've done a really good job here hunnie, thanks for entering! ily♥
-
We all have those sides where we're shy but we're outgoing ... we're the biggest bitch but the sweetest person. It's just who we are. What the good thing is, is that you believe you are beautiful because you are. No matter what ... even after the heartbreaks and fuck ups. Even if we screw up, we are still ... beautiful, right? I try so hard to believe it and even when I did, I got hurt so I'm just trying to remember again that my insides are wonderful.
I think you're great and I wish I could say more about this piece.
-
i'm a [walking] contradiction.
everyone that touches me hurts me.
to an extent, everything scares me.
i fall too hard && love too much.
i give & give & give
&& sometimes, just sometimes -- i get [a little] back.
you could never ever love me the way that i love[d] you.
the girl that smokes on her roof when the world is sleeping
counting stars & scars in the faint moonlight
the girl that draws hearts on her faded-blue-jean knees
&& at the corners of her eyes
MY absolute favorite lines, bloody stunning
OHHH DOLL THIS IS AMAZING!!!
AMAZING AMAZING WORK
♥
XxXBrokenXxX
-
this is so wonderful.
i've never read anything by you I don't think,
but always meant to.
And this was just utterly gorgeous.
Everything you wrote reminded me of myself,
'like me telling myself i dont miss him.
i never loved any of them. never ever. nope.
that nobody ever broke me, hit me, used me, abused me.'
That was gorgeous & I felt it so much.
The repetition of beautiful was lovely, I think it's one thing we always have to remember has humans. Someone finds us gorgeous.
All the best in this contest, I think you really did good, identifying your good and bad points.
<33
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im the ballerina in my snow globe
&& im dancing on ice with a sweet-smile
plastered on my face
just like she does
even though she knows --
she knows her world is going to
fall apart;; turn upside down;;
& spin-so-fast
over&over&over again.
ARGGH!
love that stanza, its clever its beautiful its stunnnnning
oh bb, i love your work so much
moonshine
xxxxxx
-
wow. this was amazing. i loved the way you use your words. you have a GREAT style and i want to read more from you. anyway i can relate a lot to you. i'm also a 'walking contradiction'. i just loved your words. you did such a good job with this. and i completely agree with every word you said because i've lived them at some point too. great job and good luck in the contest. !!
amanda♥♥
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baby, you're beautiful...
i'm a [walking] contradiction--completly loved that line, cause i know the feeling, fun right?
and i really liked how you used stuff from your other poems to describe who you were--
i'm the ripped-ragdoll;
the violated-victim;
the mourning-marionette
the bruised-butterfly pinned under glass
im the ballerina in my snow globe
&& im dancing on ice with a sweet-smile
i really loved this. [and im going(trying to go) back to my old style]
ily forever&ever
[[Chaos]]
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YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! You're beautiful you're beautiful you're beautiful. Don't let a stupid boy take away your individuality and your self awareness!!! Wonderful poem.
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