on a lovely Winter's morn
not a leaf or twig or thorn
could poke up past the icy sheet
or through the overlying sleet
so, comfortably we walk barefoot
on a footprint path inside the wood
we worry not of rocks or stones
for our blanket keeps our heels alone.
Jagged sickles hang in trees
lEering at us menacingly
beNding branches with their weight
wheN they're empty threats that they create
pennY's not used for luck today.
in our eyes a glare of light
flies up from the sea of white
and clumps of snow snug in the trees
substitute for fallen leaves.
in the distance breezes start to blow
spinning leaves and swirling snow
we stand stead fast, release all fear
we simply hold the other near.
sharp wind rises all the sudden
and out from us a breath and shudder
though the chill makes our ears feel worse
my hand still warmly rests with yours.
Author notes
capitalized the middle part cause I wanted it to be obvious unlike my other poems.
please evaluate me thoroughly
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Great write. Beautiful imagery.
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nice
Very beautiful and touching poem , Im not good at evaluating but this is very well penned , I loved it
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WOW. This is beautiful! I love the imagery and the idea of the snow and its just great within this summer month!
Definitely a plus. You've done wonderfully with your imagery and your description and you've really made the reader feel like they are there and feeling what you have created and seeing everything that's going on. Nicely done with this and I cannot wait to read more of your amazing work!
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Quoting....
'in the distance breezes start to blow
spinning leaves and swirling snow
we stand stead fast, release all fear
we simply hold the other near.'
nice thoughts....
and as always thank you for sharing this with me too... -
It sounds like a blistery winter morning to me. I never cared much for snow or winter, In fact I hate winter.
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Very Good
This poem is very good; very lovely well penned. I enjoyed reading this; but winter is my favorite time of year. I can almost feel the coolness in the air. And the warmth of the lover's hand. Great Job. DJ
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Amazing!
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Good job on rhyming words like A,A,B,B
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You've created a beautiful picture of winter in my mind even if it did make me feel cold lol. The flow and rhyme in this piece of work is good which makes it very easy to read. Rhyme is my preferred style so I really enjoyed reading it anyway.
There is a spelling mistake in line two which needs correcting:
not a leave or twig or thorn .... leaf (singular)
After reading your author note about the capital letters I have to ask "obvious to who" The name might mean something to you and your friends, but not to the passer-by.
All in all this is a very good write and I encourage you to keep writing and improving.
PS - Check out the Raven contest (20,000 points and cash) coming to Allpoetry this June. http://allpoetry.com/poem/2664728
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Beautiful images and a strong, rhythmic flow as well. I am for now enjoying spring, finally, I'll appriciate winter more when I am sure it won't be making a surprise visit until at least October
Great write. 
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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Winter's Morning
lovely soft delicate imagey
in some oof these lines...
a nice gentle read.
I thank you for the walk
through your footsteps.
as always;
sandra -
Oh how gorgeous. Yes I did notice the capitalization of "Jenny" in the middle, very cute. The flow and rhyme were extremely well-penned, and the imagery is subtle but breathtaking.
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How beautiful! Sigh...
Is there anything more grand than love? The sharing of two hearts; two souls?
I LOVE this! It's soft, it's serene, and it's a beautiful sharing! Wishing you all the best of everything! -
Great poem. This has been wonderfully written and the imagery you used was brillinat. Well done on this. It sent shivers down my spine.
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The imagery here is so alive and vibrant that one can almost feel the chill of the wintry air brushing across your cheek. I love what you have done here. It makes me feel like I was walking through your words.
♥ Touchof1der -
This is sweet! Although it makes me shiver...I hate the cold. Grins.
My only suggestion is to add the apostrophe s (Winter's Morning instead of Winters Morning)...but that is just the English teacher coming out in me.
Good job! Write on, poet.
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Funny you should mention that because I was just looking at that error.
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