It wasn't all that long ago
That I began to see
You aren't the boy I used to know
The one that set me free
And somehow you seemed to have lost through the years
The love you once had for me.
I know you don't love me
(and I hate you, I hate you)
I hate what you've turned me into.
Look at me, baby
You won't recognize my face
Because it's covered with tears.
I cried for you often
The hate I feel built up inside
And the rapture I felt is gone.
The angels can have you, sweetheart
I certainly don't want you anymore
Especially after all you've done.
So much for perfection
You couldn't even grant me that
Even though I loved you.
Cast yourself into the sea
I couldn't care any less, darling
I'd love to see you swim away for good.
Maybe the sun is fake
It's all yellow construction paper
And tempera paint.
The sea isn't real either
It's just tap water with some extra salt
And that can't be good for you.
And the seraphs above can have our dead love
Do you think it matters to me?
And dearest, I know that you changed long ago
Do you think it matters to me?
I hope you're delighted, I'm very excited
My love for you has at last been requited
And it's not all it's cracked up to be
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
A contest entry
- xx - Love - sucks - xx by The Hardest Goodbye.
300 points, ended June 17, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - love= Heartbreak by Hearts.That.Bleed.
375 points, ended July 1, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - tell me your story by idontno.
300 points, ended July 3, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me your [[L.o.v.e]] Story.... by xxLost-in-Lovexx.
550 points, ended August 17, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Wow
this poem is amazing. your use of words is breathtaking. The emotion is amazing too.here is my favorite part of this poem
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"The angels can have you, sweetheart
I certainly don't want you anymore
Especially after all you've done.
So much for perfection
You couldn't even grant me that
Even though I loved you.
Cast yourself into the sea
I couldn't care any less, darling
I'd love to see you swim away for good."
******************************************************
Absolutely amazing thank you for entering in my contest and good luck.
XxChelseaxX
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great job. i loved this poem! good luck in my contest and thanks a bunch for entering
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very well writen
good job keep it up
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i liked the contemplations of the sun and the sea not being real. those metaphors just made me think about the truth behind life itself and what we believe. good job
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this is really awsome. I can sort of relate because something very similar happened to me recently. I finally made myself stop loving this guy and set my self free because it just wasn't worth it anymore, and in the end, being free wasn't all it waws cracked up to be. anyways its a wonderfull poem with good rythem. good work.
~APPLES~ -
was a powerful poem with alot of imagery and heartfelt emotion in it
you could feel what you was trying to say and i understood your emotions
the poem had a lovely flow to it and the imagery within it made you understand what you was trying to say
well done -
well written, good luck in the contest
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This is brilliant. Describes how I've been feeling lately oh-so-well! Exactly what I was looking for in a cynical love poem. Thanks so much for entering & good luck in my contest!
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Very well written Good Luck in the Contest
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wow
this is really good. i love it lots. you did a great job expressing how you felt and i love that about this write... I can totally relate to this write!! keep up the great work and good luck in my contest!!
Shannon*Leah -
there were some stanzas in there that really made me light up ^_^ your way of mixing the styles within the same poem, it's really good to read...a variety of sorts. and your flow, how smooth it reads, it's improving as each new piece comes along...so keep it up ;]
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I liked this poem in the first and last stanzas. I think that just those two stanzas would have made a poem of itself. All the middle triplets seem to be outside of the aforementioned lines, with a different mindset. I like the idea of changing format within a poem, I just think more could be done to smooth all parts together and make them feel connected as they're read.
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It's great how you still use Poe's form in the first and last stanzas. Once again you hath done it
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