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Author notes
The Sun has Long Been Set
--William Wordsworth
The sun has long been set,
The stars are out by twos and threes,
The little birds are piping yet
Among the bushes and the trees;
There's a cuckoo, and one or two thrushes,
And a far-off wind that rushes,
And a sound of water that gushes,
And the cuckoo's sovereign cry
Fills all the hollow of the sky.
Who would go `parading'
In London, `and masquerading',
On such a night of June
With that beautiful soft half-moon,
And all these innocent blisses?
On such a night as this is!
See? I do like rhyme (off this site)
I like the night. What can I say?
A contest entry
- A piece of You by Melissa Gayle.
1300 points, ended May 6, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
nights such as these
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Wow this is an awesome piece of work "drank like an eternal
thirst had landed
in our throats until
we almost forgot our names" that is my favorite part,a brilliant line...Scott
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Thank you.
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This is very nicely done. The opening works well, sets the motif, and establishes an immediate intimacy. The three parts are worked well, showing development and deepening, and the dramatic tension developed in the first two parts (work described statically, leisure more dynamic) serves as a foundation for the third... we get a sense of time and growth even in the moments.
I didn't like the "of"s in the second stanza... it sounds like Byron's poems are read but Woodsworth and the Italians get no more than biographical entries. That may, in fact, be the truth, but two in a row seem less... close? intimate? At any rate, it really doesn't diminish the power of the poem.
Great job.
Brian
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"He found art fingerpainting my thighs" - hot damn that is genius.
This is beautiful. Truly romantic and yet human. It wasn't overdone, it was simply man and woman.
Just excellent. -
Beautiful! A crisp snapshot of those heady first days of love (or infatuation!)
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Excellent
Love it.
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Well, this one sings of some real beauty and nostalgia too. I was especially fond of section 2 but the whole poem is just gorgeous.
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Night is Good
I like night
obviously
it is when I write
Good reverberation on the Wordsworth
You have pearl in part one
you have oyster in part two
i don't see the continuation in part three
you alread compound metaphors and continuing the imagery with a similar reference in part three might make for some nice literary glue
or not
this is lovely piece on love
and I am too worn out to be trusted in such matters
Peace.
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You are right... part three does need that connection to the other two. I'm working on that... but inspiration comes in short burst, lately.
Thank you.
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My God!!!!!!! This is so beautiful...I've no words to praise...it is just amazing.
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Very well written,enjoyed the presentation,imagery and emotion.Especially liked that the male character explained the meaning of the stars after being read poetry too,this felt as if the poetry was coming alive,this has warmth,depth and good usage of description,liked the art-finger painting the thigh,well done indeed.
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True poetry you have written here. It's breathtaking.
Cris
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