Eating around Australia. - NOT an Entry!
As I already have explained to those whose appetites are trained,
the numerous fine restaurants in Oz can cater for all wants.
For those who have exotic wishes, most will provide authentic dishes.
Indigenous and native fare, prepared outside in open air
with age-old methods, serving well to drive off flies, disguise the smell.
I give below some fine examples of culinary treats I’ve sampled:
You’ll love delicious emu stew and alligator crock-pot too
or tasty kangaroo-tail soup (to wombat dumplings I’ll not stoop.)
I’ve scrambled cassowary eggs and sautéed kookaburras’ legs.
I’ve swallowed platypuses’ bladders and sucked gallstones of desert adders.
.Galah, when grilled, is fit for kings and so are flying foxes’ wings;
opossums’ testicles are too and greenback turtle in fondue.
I’ve heard the praises loudly sung of charbroiled crocodile’s tongue;
a marinated parakeet or cockatoo can be quite sweet
and slow-boiled skin of rattlesnake, when diced, a nice hors d’œuvre will make.
The pouch of female kangaroo provides a vol-au-vent for two
while bladder-juice of wallaby will make aperitifs for three.
Assorted snakes boiled as a mash can make an excellent goulash
served with chopped water-rat or mice and sprinkled with some mildewed rice.
Crushed dingoes’ balls, spread on hot toast, are the mark of a discerning host.
I NEVER eat koala bear, (I cannot stomach furry hair!)
and, as for eating stewed wombat, I think I’d sooner eat my hat.
Fried witchetty grubs taste quite fair, (like unwashed lubra’s underwear!)
Goanna liver’s really tasty with dingo dung rolled in a pastie.
A seaweed salad on the side adds flavour unidentified
A pregnant dingo bitch’s tits can make the most delicious frits,
while gently simmered wild sow’s arse is excellent when stuffed with grass,
but I consider camel’s udder, however cooked, still tastes like rubber.
A brumby steak (that’s wild bush horse) is tender if deep-fried of course
or stallion’s knackers soaked in sauce you’d never guess came from a horse.
In OZ it often gets so hot that flies around a camel’s twat
succumb to the excessive heat and, when collected, make a treat.
A fricassee of minced bluebottle, served on a bed of golden wattle
or pasted with rich blow-fly sauce is excellent for your first course.
For starters, try some white-back spider, dipped in a marinade of cider.
An entrée that is really beaut is barbied snout of bandicoot
or, for the most fastidious man, stewed stomach of white pelican.
Be careful which reptiles you cook, 'coz poisonous ones will make you crook
and be particularly warned 'bout spiny devils that are horned.
Recommended after-dinner fillers: a maggot dip with caterpillars.
You easily can fill your belly (no need for vegemite or jelly)
by firing up the barbecue and tossing on a toad or two
or, if you want a seafood dish, try barbied eel and jellyfish.
It’s often fun, just for a lark, to slap on a tail of tiger shark
and, while we’re thinking of our bellies, remember to invite your rellies!
If you hate aunties like I do, just serve them up cold wombat stew
or, if you want to be real funny, tarantula fresh from your dunny!
Hugh R. April 19th. 2007.
Author notes
Some more of what Catz offensively refers to as "King's gibberish" which has developed from His Majesty's comment on one of her entries.
I am indebted to Angelica for the many indigenous recipes which she has kindly provided from her comprehensive volume: "Aunty Bea's Adventure Cookbook."
BTW: The tarantula is a large, hairy spider that preys on small birds and large flies, hence often found lurking in outback thunder-boxes!
For other ingredients used in the above recipes, please refer to:
http://home.iprimus.com.au/readman/links.htm
(scroll down to "UNIQUE AUSTRALIAN ANIMALS".)
In a list
A contest entry
- ONLY FOR MEMBERS OF HUGH WYLES' FAVOURITES GROUP by huguenauties.
750 points, ended April 27, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Um...don't want to try these...um...ahem...tasty treats, But to each his/her own. We do have such delights for the taste buds here in the Americas as ell. LOL
Much Love ♥
Renee
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I think I will not find any of these delicacies in Kyiv! Quite an eye-opener, though.
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I refuse to comment on Non-Entries.
This is revolting!
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Dear Hugh,
When I first met Heath he wanted to try some of these delicacies so I took him out to A/J's and she cooked him some, but we didn't tell him what it was. But he LOVED every morsal he ate! I had vegemite sandwiches.
Hine.
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A fantastico poem!
Dear Hugh, HaHa
There are some delicious recipes there, I've seen "Aunty Bea's Adventure Cookbook" and it's a corker! and psssst I know for a fact that she has tried the recipes. She's just having you on.
A great NON-ENTRY you've written.
Love Jenny.
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MMMMM delicious
Dear Hugh,
It was a pleasure helping you out with all these delicious Aussie meals. Unfortunately I've never tasted any of them.
HMMMMM Should I try some? I DON'T THINK SO! I'll leave it to the unsuspecting tourists who come over here to taste the delicacies. 
I reckon it's a bonza poem though.
Love Bea
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Dear Bea,
You surely are the only cook
in whose entire recipe book,
there is not one appealing treat
that you have tried, yourself, to eat.
I understand, now that you're wealthy,
how you have kept youself so healthy!
~~~
I'm off to have an icecream sundae.
Love and hugs, XXX Hugh. -
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Yeah Hugh,
The cat's outta the bag now! Or should I say "The pot"
Thanks Jen!
I wanted to have a joke with our King!
Yes Hugh, I really have tried them and some are delicious.
It's surprising how popular the dishes are.
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LOL, (at your author note.)
You know, you made me hungry until you got to the vegemite. I'll eat testicles and eyeballs and bellies of things I can't pronounce but I refuse to eat vegemite. I had the misfortune to try some once...it's a mistake I shall never repeat! It tastes 10 times worse than it looks...and it looks horrid!
But...Mmmmm, wombat dumplings!
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Dear Yem,
Although a lot of Aussies skite
about the powers of vegemite
those who aren't actually insane
like MOXIE more (that comes from Maine!)
I heartily agree with you
that MOXIE is god-given brew
whereas that bloody vegemite
will keep you on the loo all night.
So I proclaim to every bod:
"Drink MOXIE and see Yem as god!"
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Aww, kingeepoo I must admit
nothing compares to your sweet wit
and I never meant to insult
when in gibberish, it did result
But try to see my point of view
when you put down that wombat stew
with all of Yemesee's hard work
having him around is a perk
After hearing that wombat snore
keeping me awake, nevermore
you'd make the sacrifice, I'm sure
and no longer have to endure
Wombat stew is not really bad
(can't believe I said that, it's sad)
though preparation was a bore
no longer do I hear him snore
... nevermore
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Dear Dee,
Wombats actually don't snore
except when eating babies raw
but adult wombats at their peak
emit a sort of sexy squeak.
Though you may favour wombat stew
it's really not the thing to do.
What's much preferred is kangaroo
by experts at the Manly zoo.
The reason, possibly, I think
may have to do with wombat's stink.
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Before I clicked on this, I thought to myself, "Oh Dear, here I am already hungry and I am about to venture on a quest that requires reading about food... I was certain I would walk away feeling thoroughly famished, but I must admit my sweet friend... I think you have curbed my appetite just a wee bit and I'll be waiting to fix that sandwich now.
♥ Touchof1der
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Dear Kimberly,
If you prefer vegetarian dishes, you might enjoy battered cactus slices spread with eucalyptus gum or finely chopped mallee leaves in platypus egg yolk.
Thanks for reading and commenting. Lovely to hear from you.
How about firing up the barbie and sticking in an entry?
Hope all is well. Love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
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