Find the truth deep down inside your soul
Wondering if you try no more
Will you stand alone?
Through the smoke
We watch for
What we do not wish to find
Maybe your a soldier
Taught to die for a bold lie
We must fight to find the real truth
Die for what we know
Wondering if the choices made
Will ever let us go
We must fight to find the real truth
Three's no turning back
Be ready for the downfall
When the sky is turning black
Find the truth deep down inside your soul
Wondering if you try no more
Will you stand alone?
Through the smoke
We watch for
What we do not wish to find
Maybe your a priest and
Set forth as the voice of God
We must fight to find the real truth
Die for what we know
Wondering if the choices made
Will ever let us go
We must fight to find the real truth
Three's no turning back
Be ready for the downfall
When the sky is turning black
Falling down
There's no place to go
Why not join me
While I stand alone?
See me
Stand on the other side
Im the only one
Who stands alone.
Falling down
There's no place to go
Why not join me
While I stand alone?
A contest entry
- My first year on AP by forever dreaming.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A few small grammatical errors in this piece. 3rd stanza should be you're instead of your. 5th stanza should be there instead of three. Maybe "you're a priest" instead of your. 11th stanza "there's no" instead of threes no.13th stanza "I'm " instead of Im. These somewhat take away from the value of the poem as it leaves the reader having to mentally correct and re-read in there mind. However, setting those aside, I like the use of repetition within the piece as it adds to the overall impact of the piece.
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very nice write. this would have fit the contest, you're right, but i'd rather have freshies for this one. why not try writing something else? (it's a pretty open topic...)
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2350090
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Very well written!
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Wonderful
Very creative and expressive. Truly is so well done.
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Very nice. I like how you repeated certain thoughts.
My favorite lines were:
"There's no turning back
Be ready for the downfall
When the sky is turning black."
Line seven and twenty-three:
"your" should be "you're"
Line fourteen and thirty:
"Three's" should be "There's"
Awesome write
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This is great!
"Falling down
There's no place to go
Why not join me
While I stand alone?"
That's clever. awesome job!
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awesome write. i love the flow and the message. my favorite line is
"We must fight to find the real truth
Die for what we know
Wondering if the choices made
Will ever let us go"
Great write
**Bloved**
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this was amazing!
my goodnesss
freak i liked it
goshhh
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