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Pillow talk




It feels like listening
to music from white walls;

     Infectious nothing
     intrudes the innocence
     of lounge
     and lingering perfume.

It's the stigma of summer
dripping down like candle wax;

    

     or flying feathers,

     fueled by fascination.

 

my mind stumbles -

the aftermath of ardor
is pillow talk.

     (and moments miming

     mellifluous memories.)

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • Melvina
    February 6, 2008

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    Tis was cool, it seemed lik two poems woven together. Lovely and warm all at once.... Good luck in the contest we both entered!
    ~chees~


  • ronnica
    February 6, 2008
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    Pillow talk and candlelight, the time to ask for diamonds. I liked the scene,


  • Shamanicmusings
    February 1, 2008

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    Pillows are great. Lounging should be made compulsory.
    At least there wasn't a cigarette involved........


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    November 23, 2007

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    Ah alliteration, alliteration - I love the stuff. It's spectacularly useful and I really should use more of it in my writes. Beautifully penned here, loved your word choice vast and beateous. Thoroughly enjoyed.


  • Nicolette Everett
    November 18, 2007

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    I like paragraphs 1 & 3, they really stand out to me. Your whole poem though is a very gentle poem. I love the title for it too.
    Good job!


  • AnnD Moderators member
    November 14, 2007

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    What a lovely gentle and sensuous feel there is to your poem Leander...
    This was a pleasure to read.
    Well worth the gold for sure.

    Ann


  • Danna Hobart
    November 14, 2007

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    This is the kind of poem I was looking for. Thanks for entering.


  • Nam
    October 23, 2007

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    Short, simple, and quaint. Nice attributes in such a minimal poem. I really have nothing else to say but that: a nice poem that you have written here.


  • AnaRexic
    October 19, 2007

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    gracious.

    i love it...unique and fresh...one of the best i've seen on this site so far

  • the chase
    October 19, 2007

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    Sweet like honey.

    This is beautiful. Peaceful. The image is slow and nostalgic, but the thoughts seem to be racing. I had to look up the word "mellifluous."

  • Dobar Dan
    August 31, 2007

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    Very Beautiful

    Wow - this is beautiful - love the way you put this together - as you know I'm a rhymer but this is the best write I've read that doesnt rhyme - the flow os what makes it special - kee up the great work - Bless God - Joe ------- Obama for president


  • Beating gold member
    August 31, 2007

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    "It feels like listening
    to music from white walls;"
    i like those lines - they are the perfect opening to this really poetic piece. You end it well too - it's like it leaves the reader thinking. Love it!


  • Scion
    May 29, 2007

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    i like the way you present this.. as if in whisper. as if, in a hushed contentment. and so thicke with such solid and delicious alliteration. wonderful! if this is how you describe pillow talk... we wonder what you could do with the intimacy before it. such a poet.
    Cheers.


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    May 12, 2007

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    Very smooth, I like the feel of this piece. It has a soothing effect to it that lingers. It breathes and carries you. Of course I love the metaphors. Wonderfully done


  • lysdarling
    May 10, 2007

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    enticing title..
    "It feels like listening
    to music from white walls"
    --these lines struck me. great piece
    *lys*


  • Pollycheck
    April 30, 2007

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    Thank you for subjecting yourself to my review. This is a well written poem about the afterglow. I did like your use of alliteration. This is a good solid poem.


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    April 30, 2007

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    you use alliteration to portray the bouquet of objects and fanciful thoughts and abstractions ... 'moments miming/mellifluous memories. ... this poem you've written is beautiful, enters all of the senses plus another, imagination. you are obviously a brilliant and sure handed writer. honored. ,,,Danni ;)


  • stephanie sunshine
    April 25, 2007
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    ooooooh. i love alliteration. and something about all the m's makes me think of the way you (well, not you specifically but people in general) mumbled almost incoherently when your face is half pressed to the pillow. some fresh imagery here, and i enjoyed yer poem!


  • catz Moderators member
    April 24, 2007

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    Oh, yeah, pillow talk, the lovely verbal aftermath
    Your poem is exquisite, leander. The verbiage brings beautiful images of those moments spent in each others arms, moments unlike any other. A yummy time

    I like this piece a lot, on the verge of subtle erotica without actually being so.

    An excellent write and I love the presentation.

    Dee

  • Zephyr the Red
    April 23, 2007

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    Hm...

    Never thought I'd find myself saying this but, damn are you hot Interesting poem btw. I prefered the italisized words, as they seemed to mean more to me, than the typewritter font... Just incase you were wondering... Well it was nice reading some of your work... even if it wasn't as long as I was hoping... Peace out man


  • Pain Angel
    April 23, 2007
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    i like, i like


  • silverscent gold member
    April 23, 2007

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    Ooh! Looks like we have something in common here; I really like your work (well this poem) too.
    Your use of alliteration is excellent. Nicely done!


  • gaze
    April 21, 2007

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    Hi Lele
    The use of alliteration made your poem flow soooooooooooo very smooth!
    'mellifluous', that is a word we don't see very often
    Quite a singing poem


    • leander Moderators member
      April 23, 2007

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      Luckily it is only the poem that's singing and not me lol
      Otherwise half of AP would be deaf in an instant, and the other half would smash their feet into their ears


  • Lady-Pegasus
    April 20, 2007

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    Very nice write, deep and dark and haunting, just thought id take a moment to see the poems you write, so bear with a bit while I check you out, hehe


  • Ryno
    April 20, 2007

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    Dang this is good. It is so damn well worded. Everyone who entered this contest is standing out to me, but this is REALLY standing out to me. It is so simple, but yet complex. Very well done. Thanks for entering and for sharing. Best wishes!
    ~Ryan~


  • Kari gold member
    April 20, 2007

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    This piece is so awesome. I love the words mentioned here. I wish you the best of luck in the contest


  • So Strange
    April 20, 2007

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    Hmm...good piece, even though I usually like the evened out verses. You know, where things are all in line, whether it's to the left or in the center. I usually notice these kinds of linings sometimes, but I never comment on them. I decided to do so this time, because I finally want to know why people do that.

    Good piece and it had good flow, too, so keep on writing on!


  • MissAnonymous
    April 19, 2007
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    beautiful!


  • Touchof1der silver member
    April 19, 2007

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    MMMmmm... good stuff Leander! The title hit a nerve that simply wouldn't let me pass up the chance to read your thoughts here. I love pillow talk... the aftermath... basking and glowing in the wonder of it all. Nice work sweetie!
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • Celticmoon
    April 19, 2007

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    And you said you couldn't do it!
    You LIED!

    Lee, you truly are the alliteration KING!
    I love reading your work because I know I am guarenteed to be introduced to some very creative alliterations

    Bravo!





  • sheltered
    April 19, 2007
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    Superb alliteration and imagery. Good stuff.

1 - 36 of 36