i.
there is uneasy comfort
listen to the silence
reprieve has been offered
grasped with caution
not knowing how close
the threshold lies
how many steps
before a slip
ii.
in conversation with friends
topic turns to indiscretion,
the nature of true romanticism
he points out, with private glance,
that no lines were crossed
although he did lean-
yeah, he’s lucky
iii.
vanity drags the razor
up a leg
the thought of cotton
against coolsmooth skin
divine
A contest entry
- A piece of You by Melissa Gayle.
1300 points, ended May 6, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
This is excellent and windhover is right, there are many layers within this.
You say so much with so little, and still leave me feeling both empty, full and sarcastic. -
Great stuff
-
-
thanks = )
-
-
This is really good... multiple stories within the story... layers upon layers. A great use of succinct verse that says more than any amount of prose could.
Yeah
he is lucky.
I didn't like the line break after "how". It creates an additional resonance by remaining unresolved that extra moment, but it jars the rhythm for me. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
-
-
thank you
you're right.
-
-
this is gold...
-
-
thanks
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
