You tried to catch my smile,
as if it were attainable,
and then ripple it through the sky
because it glittered…
You noted the sun never laughs
as much as we do.
Not even when the birds squabble
over the lushness of the leaves.
I said you should sit on the moon
and entertain the sun.
She’d be rolling around the horizon
in hysterics.
Because it’s you my ivory feather,
who makes me smile.
Author notes
Totally random - are you in love?
Just a love poem...
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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I think this is one of your best poems so far..just like some others i like the last two lines..I love your poetry goog work!!
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yes
silverscent,
there you go again, opening the possibilities!
so many pictures, and this one with hints of
a delightful sense of humor! and the twist
at the end - great!
loved this one
jingle -
sitting on the moon and entertain the sun....very interesting....a true love poem..only love give us magical ideas like this...
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I like the last lines the best. A very well written piece of poetry. Thank you for entering.
Sam
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Random or not I enjoyed this one. I love the thought of someone sitting on the moon and entertaining the sun. I have to check out some more of your work...Trina
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wow...
this write flows so well.. and the pictures you paint with your words are so beautiful great job.. i'm book marking this, kay?
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Thanks!! Glad you enjoyed it.
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I really like this Piece.
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today is my birthday how random is that? You wrote this lovely poem as if it was a present to me. I thank you so much for sharing it with me.... I know that I have already commented on this poem already but I just can't help myself when I read a lovely poem.
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Aww well happy birthday, I'm glad you got a nice feeling from this poem. For today, your birthday, this poem is for you
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thats really great I like the imagery too. well done
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bravo
Highly, highly romantic piece of poetry here, with some nice poetic phrasings... bravo... bravo... bravo...
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wow nice piece. i thought it was very cute!! great job with this piece. thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
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impressed
i really like this. its sweet and random. It gets to the point and for some reason you feel at peace after reading it. Good job, i hope you continue writing. You definetly have a talent. Nice work.
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Interesting, sweet, and nicely written. Thansk for entering and no, I'm not in love. lol Don't believe in it, myslef, but hey, that doens't mean you shouldn't. Thanks for entering.
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this reminds me
a little bit of carol ann duffy, you ever read anything of hers?
i can relate to this poem completely. -
You have such a way with words.. it really interests me.
This is one of my favorite pieces that I have read in a long time. This is sweet, romantic, tempting..
I ABSOLUTELY love it.
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A refreshing stanza here poet.
"You noted the sun never laughs
as much as we do.
Not even when the birds squabble
over the lushness of the leaves."
Very nice work! Thank you for the time spent to enter this into my challenge. I wish you well here, in love, and life.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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i like this. its very nice. good luck in the contest.
brittany -
aww. this is sweet! such a lovely write for someone you care about. great job and I wish you all the luck!!
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simply amazing, wow.... i mean damn! this is really good
bookmarked!
nay x -
You know, I'm actually thankful that I was hovering around the rewarding section today. I'm pretty much falling in love with your style it's something I envy actually. The way you catch your metaphors so gracefully and pen them onto paper as if it's the easiest thing on earth...
the image of a smile rippling through the sky is so unique that I actually wish I came up with it
Truly, a beauty this is.
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This is cute and loving...love the ending..."Because it's you my ivory feather, who makes me smile," well done, thanks for sharing
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DUE IN DEWS
IT IS LUCKY TO HAVE A POETIC EXPRESSION OF LOVING HEART.
LOVE FRAGRANCES LIKE ROSE FLOWERS AND SMILES LIKE THEIR PETALS WITH DUE DEWS -
This is so sweet and beautifully written.
I love the imagery and background that
you chose for this. I am sure that your
fiance loved it!
Thank you for your entry in my contest!
I appreciate it and wish you the best of
luck with it in my contest! Keep up the
great work here!
Jeremy0826
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Because it’s you my ivory feather,
who makes me smile...
I can see the modldy of love in each word which play a music ofa the heart and music of the life as
well....Every verse is re-enforcing the previous one with a thought and with a depth of the philosphy of the loveas well..I really appreciate this work..a great immagery is its strength welldone..
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well written.keep it up.
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Beautiful poem
What a beautiful poem expecially when it's written on my birthday. I thank you for uplifting my spirits with such a wonderful write about love...
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Beautiful!
Your fiance sounds like a wonderful person for you to write such a wonderful poem about. I'm glad you have someone to make you laugh and the best of luck to your relationship!
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This is a lovely poem about your loved one and a poem that I am sure he will treasure. Its lovely to read poems like this, they make your eyes glaze over and enter another world. thank you for brightening my day.
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thats sweet, it's also a very creative way of writing, i liek it. its unusual, but good. nice work.
xXx LosTMyLover xXx
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Awww... what a sweet love poem this is as well. i like the thought of the sun rolling around the horizon in hysterics... that just strikes me as such a creative way of thinking. Nice poem!
♥ Touchof1der -
I think there are great collocations here, "rolling round the horizon" "ripple it through...". However, I think they are sometimes obscured by too common expressions as bird twitter. In all, a veryu nice piece to read out to your finace...
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wow
I think that its a beautiful poem. I love it. My favorite part is when you say:
I said you should sit on the moon
and entertain the sun.
She’d be rolling around the horizon
in hysterics.
For once a love peom that doesn't end sadly....
I hope you and your fiance have a good life together
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great
loved it.
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Excellent
A very touching and loving write for your Fiance. I hope he enjoys it. The poem is filled with marvelous images that stay with the reader.
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Wonderful writing
Now this is very very beautiful writing. This is deep and full of powerful emotions of love and respect. Wonderful imagery as well. Keep writing. You have got talent.
Wayne
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