Dual natures of plume
and shingled wonder
ascend, not minding or
pondering on the reasons
propelling them upward--
they just go.
Wafting stoic, torn by gales
and merged with them again,
the fish and the bird
transform into a mirror-dragon.
Pearl-lipped, silver-tongued:
each melody illuminating
visions veiled in damask silk.
The clumsy fish gracefully curves,
the bird easily surveys rippling waters.
The dragon is a line of flame,
swallowing the sun and spitting
out a winged crescent.
Again a plume, and a shingled wonder.
A contest entry
- The Clouds by Heart Sutra.
525 points, ended April 27, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I liked the use of enjambment here. The imagery was very strong. I liked the alliteration of 'visions veiled'.
Pozo
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I can't agree enough with Zayra - there is a lot of imagination in this piece. I felt as though I were reading pieces of lore in regards to the creation of the sun and moon.
Interesting indeed. It might be more fantasy than what I normally look for, but that is some of the strength in the style you're using for your poetry.
Nicely done!
Kim
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The fantasy element applies aptly to clouds. There is a lot of imagination in this poem and I like your word choices.
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What a word and a picture will cause us to think about - all so different entries with so different perspectives and thoughts and interpretations. Really a unique write you have penned here. Wonderful word combinations, vivid visuals.
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